Haggai 2:3-5 Does anyone remember this Temple in its former splendor?  . . . This new Temple must seem like nothing at all! But now the Lord says: Be strong . . . and now get to work, for I am with you . . . My Spirit remains among you, just as I promised . . . So do not be afraid.

When Karis emerged from sixty days of induced coma in January, 2005 her body, a temple of the Lord (1 Corinthians 6:19), had been all but destroyed. She had no intestine; instead, she had two huge drainage tubes emerging from her abdomen that she had to carry around with her for a year. She was so weak she couldn’t even lift a finger to push the nurse call button. She had to rebuild her foundations, not just physically but academically, emotionally, spiritually. It seemed an impossibly long road back to what would never be “normal” again.

In Karis’s own words, once she was able to start writing again:

Mar 14, 2005 I cried a lot today. I cried for the full, beautiful life I once knew.

Mar 27, 2005 If I cried often in those days after my comas it was because I wanted desperately to feel alive again, to be myself again. But my soul had been buried so deep to survive the comas it wouldn’t come back to me quickly. Like Little Bo Peep’s sheep, it would emerge eventually—but on its own time. Meanwhile, I was distant from myself. Various times I attempted the Bible or Catherine of Sienna, Rumi, Hafiz, church bulletins; but my attention span was nil and prayer eluded me.

I write this in the past tense as a gesture of hope.

Mar 28, 2005 For Holy Week they held various celebrations at Ascension. One of them was the stripping of the cross. My own stripping is perhaps over. I’ve lost my foot and my hair and dozens of friendships, my ability to dance and to sing and to eat and to yell. Even my face is a different shape and I no longer read. So have I changed, in essence and purpose?

Mar 30, 2005 1 Corinthians 1:8—A promise I must learn to stand on. [She writes the verse three times.] “He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.”

“He will keep you strong.” The Jews rebuilding the Temple in Haggai’s day faced intense opposition. Karis’s efforts to rebuild her body were also complicated by opposition: intensely painful pancreatitis, and then liver failure. By August, liver was added to the list for a second transplant, now five organs. Had God’s Spirit not been with her, encouraging her not to be afraid, she might have despaired. We both might have despaired.

August 25, 2005 marked one year since Karis’s first transplant. In that year she spent 249 days in the hospital, 92 of those in the ICU. I wrote on her blog:

“But what we like to focus on is God’s incredible grace to us through all the ups and downs of the last year. We have seen God’s love and kindness dramatically revealed through the Body of Christ. . .

What happens next? We don’t know.  The ONLY way to walk this journey is one day—sometimes, one hour or one minute—at a time, in absolute dependence on God’s daily-renewed mercies. That hasn’t changed, just because we know better than we did a year ago what scary kinds of things can happen post-transplant.”

Today (thirteen years later!), I am less aware of my need to depend on God’s strength and Presence with me as I was every day of 2005. But it is no less true. Thank you, Lord, that you are still saying, “Do not be afraid.”

Jeremiah 31:16-17 [Crying is heard.] But now this is what the Lord says: “Do not weep any longer, for I will reward you,” says the Lord . . . “There is hope for your future,” says the Lord.

I had several adventures yesterday as I cared for my grandson Caleb. At ten months, he is into everything. He managed to pull over on himself a gallon of water, just room temperature but still a surprise.

Once I changed Caleb’s clothes, I turned to cleaning up the water running all over my kitchen floor. I tried to interest Caleb in his toys in the next room, but within about thirty seconds, wanting to be where I was, he had crawled back into the water.

I couldn’t think of anything to do except put the baby in his playpen in my bedroom. Despite the toys I gave him to play with, he was outraged. It was clearly not nap time, the only reason I usually use the pack n play. Separated and unable to see me, he screamed the entire time I was mopping the kitchen floor.

As I dried things out, I had time to reflect that Caleb probably felt I had treated him unjustly; that I was punishing him. Hmm. How often do I feel like circumstances I don’t understand are some kind of injustice or punishment? And how often is God compelled to restrain me in some fashion while he cleans up a mess I’ve made?

Caleb had no way to understand that his confinement would be very brief. For the time he was there, he had no concept of hope for his future. The only way to console him was to take him out of the playpen, cuddle him close and speak reassuringly to him. He doubtless understood few of my words, just like I don’t always understand what God is saying to me. But his underlying trust in me, built over many hours of companionship since he was born, soon soothed his hurt feelings.

Perhaps one day I’ll tell Caleb this story, in a conversation about injustice and the hope we can have for our future because God’s love for us continues rock solid, even when we can’t understand our circumstances!

A Caleb selfie from yesterday. I was trying to take his picture, but he crawled over and pushed the button himself. I still don’t know how he switched it to selfie mode, because I don’t know how to do that myself yet on my new phone!

1 Kings 15:3-4, 11 King Abijam committed the same sins as his father before him, and he was not faithful to the Lord his God, as his ancestor David had been. But for David’s sake, the Lord his God allowed his descendants to continue ruling, shining like a lamp, and he gave Abijam a son [Asa] to rule after him. . . Asa did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight.

I know several people who are deeply involved with exploring their family’s genealogies. And on our family vacation a couple of weeks ago our daughter asked Dave and me questions about our parents’ and grandparents’ stories. Beyond curiosity, do these stories matter? Yes. Whether we know it or not, our lives are impacted, for good or ill, by the thousands of choices made by those who came before us in our family tree.

What I love about this Scripture passage is the reminder that each of us can make our own choices. We can change our family story, as King Asa did.

This summer and fall as I’ve been privileged to visit many of my extended family members, I am rejoicing to see all the wonderful ways each one is choosing to change our family’s story—for good! Shining like a lamp . . .

Cristina’s road to Jesus began about eleven years ago when she came in contact with the people of Il Faro, our church. She had enrolled her son to attend the Push The Rock summer basketball camp. She was very interested in the testimonies the basketball coaches gave during the camp. The lives of the church members intrigued her. “All that time,” she said, “we watched the people of Il Faro and appreciated what you were doing and what kind of people you were.”

Then the unthinkable happened. Her husband, who had a good job and was a hard worker, had a stroke. But the Lord had good plans through it all. He ended up in a hospital room in the bed next to a relative of one of the believers in our church. At this point, both husband and wife were more open to the gospel. When her husband left the hospital they began to meet with a couple from the church. They also started to attend our Sunday services. Yet, they still wondered. There were so many questions, so many doubts. Was this church a cult? Was it out to brainwash them?

Slowly they began to participate regularly in all of our church activities. For all intents and purposes they appeared to be believers. We all rejoiced! It took them seven years to trust us enough to join us. However, the husband eventually lost interest and drifted away. Cristina as well, but she kept in touch with us as her job schedule permitted. But in spite of the many Bible studies she had with different members of the church, the many conversations, face-to-face and through WhatsApp, a black cloud of doubt and frustration hung over her. And it just intensified. She would say “I wish I could pray like you pray.” Or, “I wish I could believe the verses you share with one another, and share them with the same conviction.”

The church loved Cristina, reached out to her, tried to encourage her, answered her questions, and counseled her to surrender to God. Susan spent months of Bible studies with her, praying that God would open her eyes with the truth. But all to no avail. During most studies with Susan she would end up weeping. Something was wrong! She simply could not understand what we were saying.

Then during our Sunday service, this past Sept 2, God broke through. During the service she broke down under the weight of her frustration and lack of peace. When someone said she did not have the Holy Spirit, she said it was like a slap in the face. And she realized she was like the Pharisees. Pretending to be a Christian, trying to be a Christian, when she was not.

That evening, after the service, she talked with one of the missionary ladies, and surrendered her life to God. What a difference Christ made in her life. As soon as she went home she told her husband, expecting him to laugh in her face. Instead he cried. She called her son and daughter and shared with them. They want to hear more of what happened. She shared with her friends, and they thought she was crazy. What a joy to see her radiant with the love and peace of Christ, and know for certain she is forgiven. Her hunger for knowing Scripture has increased by leaps and bounds.

Will you pray for Cristina as she grows and witnesses to her friends? The battle will be fierce, but greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world.

1 Chronicles 17:1-4 “Look,” David said [to Nathan the prophet], “I am living in a beautiful cedar palace, but the Ark of the Lord’s Covenant is out there under a tent!” Nathan replied to David, “Do whatever you have in mind, for God is with you.” But that same night God said to Nathan, “Go and tell my servant David, ‘You are not the one to build a house for me to live in.’”

There was a time while I lived in Brazil that I thought God was asking me to build a ministry there for survivors of sexual abuse. But in October, 2012, at a conference in southern Brazil, God said to me clearly, “You are not the one to build this ministry in Brazil. You have other battles to fight.”

The occasion was the launching of the new edition of my book Vítima, Sobrevivente, Vencedor (Victim, Survivor, Victor). Thus in my talk to the participants gathered from around Brazil, I told them I was offering this book as a resource, but they would be the ones to actually build and carry out this ministry. A large number of people came forward indicating they felt God was calling them to this work.

Meanwhile, in Pittsburgh, my daughter Karis had a terrible accident resulting in wounds that prevented her attending her sister’s wedding in Brazil the next month. And another family member was experiencing a crisis which resulted in my cancelling my participation in another conference in northeast Brazil.

Yes. I had other battles to fight.

“You are not the one.” They can be hard words to hear. But I’m glad God spoke to me so clearly that I knew where he was deploying me. And that he showed me he was deploying others for the work in Brazil. Like David, my part was (and continues to be) supplying resources for those who, like Solomon, do the actual building.

This has been an interesting reflection for me during these weeks when I am trying to communicate what God did through Karis’s life, so that people can be encouraged through understanding him better. He is still active, always has been and always will be, in restoration and transformation. He still wants to pour out his grace on each one of us, in whatever ways we each need his healing touch. I pray this will be the experience of all who read Karis, All I See Is Grace just as much as for those who read Vítima, Sobrevivente, Vencedor. God is the source of healing. To him all praise.

1 Samuel 7:9-12 Samuel pleaded with the Lord to help Israel, and the Lord answered him . . . the Philistines arrived to attack Israel, but the Lord spoke with a mighty voice of thunder from heaven and the Philistines were thrown into confusion . . . Samuel then took a large stone and named it Ebenezer (which means “the stone of help”), for he said, “Up to this point the Lord has helped us!”

Yesterday this passage was used at a gathering of prayer ministers at our church. It fits nicely with the “Stones of Remembrance” I use for the Karis book parties. After telling three stories of how God intervened in our lives, and specifically Karis’s life, I invite the participants to also collect a basket of stones, number them, and write a story associated with each one that tells what God has done in his or her own life or family’s life.

When I read Bible stories like this one, I like to imagine the types of “enemies” Karis fought. Infections. Rejection. Injuries from falls. Side effects from medications. All kinds of limitations and losses. Emotional challenges. Temptations to discouragement and despair . . .

I find it interesting that in this story God speaks with a mighty voice against Israel’s enemies. But when he speaks with us, he usually uses a quiet, gentle voice. We need to be still and listen to his voice, speaking love, and wisdom, and encouragement. Speaking healing into our bruised and battered souls. Speaking truth to the lies we have believed. Speaking freedom from the shackles we have allowed the enemy to fasten around us. Speaking hope, and joy, and peace to our fears and our anxieties and our despair. Speaking comfort and compassion to our grief and neediness.

Today, as I prepare to leave tomorrow for another “Stones of Remembrance” trip, I am hearing the Lord say to me “Don’t be afraid . . . the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow, march out . . . Take your position; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you. Do not be afraid or discouraged” (2 Chronicles 20:15-17).

Be still. Let him be God.

2 Chronicles 1:12 [God said to Solomon] “I will certainly give you what you requested. But I will also give you wealth.”

My request of the Lord? That he use Karis’s story to encourage someone today. But he offers me even more.

Thursday night I got home after midnight from speaking at Notre Dame’s student-led campus fellowship, Iron Sharpens Iron. Home to my precious friends’ home, which so often in the past they have made mine as well. Home to a sweet note and hot tea beside my bed. Wealth.

The students at ND were so kind and welcoming and generous with their attention. Wealth.

I got to see an old friend after many, many years and felt like we could just pick up where we left off. Wealth.

At the book brunch on Saturday, the table was so lovely and the food so delicious we had a taste of Heaven. Old friends and new ones rejoiced with me over God’s goodness to Karis and to our family. Wealth.

On the way to South Bend I had several hours in the car with another precious friend. Yesterday I spent with my niece and her family in Holland. Now I’m enjoying a day and a night with generous friends in Grand Haven. We’ve been remembering fun and funny things our children did together when they were small and we all lived in Port Huron. Tomorrow on my way home I’ll have breakfast in Kalamazoo and lunch in Fort Wayne with other friends I seldom see. Such a wealth of kindness.

Thank you for your generosity to me, Lord!

For you are good, and your faithful love endures forever. (2 Chronicles 5:13)

Romans 10:21 But God said, “All day long I opened my arms to them, but they were disobedient and rebellious.”

There are some things about God that we rarely experience or even see others experience. So it can be hard to accept certain teachings as we just can´t relate to them. For example, how can a loving God punish those who turn their back on Him with eternal separation in a place we call hell? Can´t God just overlook their mistakes and make everything work out nice?

Recently Luci and I had a teenage girl stay with us for a month. Her parents had divorced when she was very young and she had grown up without a father. Her mom asked us to keep her for a month so she could spend some time in a “normal” Christian home with married parents who love each other in order to experience a life that she had never known. We accepted the request to be surrogate parents.

We had a plan: work, activities, food and fun stuff. She would work with us at the publishing house for part of the day boxing up books so she could earn some spending money. In the afternoons and evenings, we would cook together, play games and do family things. We would take her to the beach, a mountain resort, go shopping and let her see, experience, and learn some new things.

We had established and gone over our house rules with her. The day of her arrival came and we headed off to the airport to pick her up. Our month as surrogate parents had begun.

In a new environment, she was timid, so we did most of the talking at first. She seemed to understand and agreed as we went over the plans and expectations for her time with us.

The next day as we were eating breakfast and discussing the day’s plans I was suddenly reprehended by my 14 year old “daughter for a month” who barked out at me, “STOP CHEWING WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN!!”

At fifty going on sixty, and in a culture where parents and elders are highly respected, I have to admit I wasn’t too accustomed to being told what to do by a 14 year old. Even still, it wasn’t proper behavior for a teenager. So after a couple of similar outbursts I told her that she was welcome to discuss with me whatever she wanted, but that it needed to be done respectfully and courteously. My words fell on deaf ears.

House rule number 1 had been broken – “Obedience to what we say”.

Everybody has a bad day from time to time and teenagers can be moody and grumpy without having experienced a change in environment, so we wrote it off to stress and let it go at that. After a few days of overlooking bad behavior, extending grace and providing some space for her to regroup and settle in to her new environment, there was no apparent improvement as the disrespectful behavior extended from me to others.

House rule number 2 had been broken – “Good behavior at home, church, Vida Nova and wherever we may go”

Now it was time to sit down and resolve this. My request for us to discuss her behavior was summarily ignored as she walked around me and off to her room. A little later I tried again. I was completely ignored as she continued on with what she was doing with no acknowledgement that I had said anything. I waited patiently for her to finish. “We need to talk,” I insisted as I stood in the doorway. She pushed me out of the way to leave the room making it perfectly clear that she was not going to talk to me.

House rule number 3 had been broken – “Honest open conversations”

At dinner that night, I tried again to open the lines of communication by asking her a question. No response. I waited. “WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME?” she snapped. “I would like to talk with you,” I replied. “I DON’T WANT YOU TO LOOK AT ME!! I DON’T WANT YOU TO TALK TO ME!! Not now, not ever.”

It was clear at that point that House rule number 4 wasn’t going to happen –“Have a lot of fun together”.

I was ready to throw the thorns and briers into the fire to be burned, but Luci wanted to work the soil, irrigate and tend to our young sapling. She thought she might be more successful at communicating, so we agreed that I would keep a low profile and Luci would be the primary point of contact. I watched and prayed and reflected on what I observed while Luci spent the rest of the month working at building a relationship. There were some outings to town, special food purchases to please her tastes, play dates set up with the children of our friends, and other things that while not resolving the underlying problems at least minimized direct confrontations.

Toward the end of the month, Luci took her out to the mall, splurged and bought some expensive snacks for her. Then Luci asked if she could sample one of the snacks. “No, you can’t have any, they’re mine”, was the response. After some physical aggression against Luci, things deteriorated even more.

When the month was up, we headed back to the airport for her to catch her return flight home.

In silence, with no hug, no “Thank you” or any indication of gratitude, not a single, “I made a mistake” or “I’m sorry” ever having been uttered during the entire month, she turned her back and headed off to catch her flight.

For a month she stayed in our home, ate our food, played with our friend’s kids, barely did any work, and used our internet incessantly to entertain herself and ignore us. For a month we provided for all she had. In the end she walked away unappreciative of Luci’s kindness and wishing I was dead.

I don’t recall ever having been so disrespected, disdained, mistreated, unappreciated and hated by anyone in my life. It made me realize how God must feel when the people that He created, live in the world he created for them, with the health, energy, talents and abilities He gave them, greedily taking the earth’s bounty for themselves, living for their own desires, and all the while ignoring, disrespecting and belittling their Creator and Sustainer.

While I have not doubted God’s Word of warning to those who turn their back on Him, this month I believe I felt how God must feel when totally rejected. It was an experience that made understanding eternal separation for those who chose to ignore God more comprehensible. There is truly no fellowship between darkness and light. We are saddened.  Please pray for her, and for us.

“There are only two kinds of people: those who say to God, “Thy will be done,” and those to whom God says, ‘All right, then, have it your way.’” C S Lewis, The Great Divorce

Psalm 22:2, 19 Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer. Every night I lift my voice, but I find no relief. . . . Oh Lord, do not stay far away! You are my strength; come quickly to my aid!

This is certainly how our brothers and sisters in Venezuela often feel. The Body of Christ must cry out with them and for them!

“Warning: the children of Bolívar are journeying across Latin America.”

Simón Bolívar is Venezuela’s national hero, similar to George Washington for us.

Only a few of you know, but this time last year, I was EXTREMELY sick. I had zero energy, painful joints, lots of swelling, blotchy skin, problems sleeping, and terrible brain fog. My overall health had been declining over the past few years, but at 38 yrs old I felt more like 83 and was just barely functioning.

My doctor did blood tests, finding that I was hypothyroid and had the autoimmune disease that causes it. The meds only made me worse – hair started falling out and hypothyroid symptoms got worse – but, since further blood tests showed my thyroid levels in “normal range”, my doctor ignored me. A “holistic” endocrinologist told me that autoimmune diseases just happen and there’s nothing I could do about it.

Now, I lived in Vermont long enough to know not to blindly trust the “experts” 😉 Praying for guidance and doing my own research, I found info on the Autoimmune Protocol diet and started that in October. Within weeks, I felt huge changes – joint pain, swelling, energy, brain fog all improved quickly. Now, 10+ months later, I’m SOOOO much better. I feel like myself again and feel like I’ve woken up from a bad dream. The diet allowed my body to heal and repair some damage that had been done to my gut and other organs, and healing prayer that I received solidified and confirmed those changes.

I took myself off of my meds in July, and recently had more blood tests… My thyroid levels are normal and my antibody count is almost zero. My body is functioning as it should and isn’t attacking itself any more. 😲😍 Doctors will say that autoimmune diseases are irreversible and that you just have to learn to live with them, which is NOT TRUE. I’m only one of many people who have helped their body heal by making changes in the food I eat! Yay for healthy food 😁😁😁

I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart!
I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.
I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High!
-Psalm 9:1-2

**Note: I was not as sick as some friends who have more serious autoimmune illnesses like lupus or multiple sclerosis; my results were pretty quick because my body didn’t have as much healing to do.