Where was God in your hardest times?

But God rescues the poor from trouble

Psalm 107:41-43 But God rescues the poor from trouble . . . The godly will see these things and be glad. . . . Those who are wise will take all this to heart; they will see in our history the faithful love of the Lord.

Every one of us has been “poor” in some way during our lives: lacking something important that we need. Whether our needs fall in the most basic of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs or further up the pyramid, they create trouble and distress in our bodies, minds, souls, and spirits.

I believe God is present with us in these circumstances, caring for us in ways we may not be aware of in the moment of our anguish. And I believe significant healing can come from being able to see where God was in those anxious times. Not only did he not abandon us (although important people in our lives may indeed have done so) but he acted proactively on our behalf.

My own story is chock full of evidence to support this premise. I wrote about some of them in my memoir about my daughter, Karis: All I See Is Grace. But God has graciously let me see him present and at work in my life from my earliest memories: growing up in a violent and abusive home, boarding school, living as a “foster child” with a family in another country for high school, feeling forced into engagement for two years to an emotionally disturbed man, the challenges of my marriage to Dave, moving to Brazil with a chronically ill child, and so much more.

My PTSD after Karis’s death was not “just” about her death. It was about a long history of traumas I had never dealt with. Because of shame. Because of fear. Because I didn’t feel worthy of the kind of attention and support I needed in order to heal. Because I had been taught a super-spiritual kind of Gospel in which if I truly had faith, I wouldn’t be in emotional trouble.

I might have continued to struggle with the horrors of PTSD for much longer had God not spoken to a woman I hardly knew, telling her I had PTSD and needed help. She showed up at my house to tell me what God had told her and offered financial assistance so I could get the help I needed. How amazing is that? At a time when I felt God had abandoned me, he made it crystal clear that if I couldn’t hear the words of compassion he was whispering to me, he would speak to me through another of his children, able at that time to hear him and take action on my behalf.

Once I started viewing my story through this lens, I began to see him everywhere. I began to experience his love, not just know about it theoretically. I began to heal. I longed to share this way of seeing with others, first through the Karis book as she helped me see God present in her story. It’s the impetus behind the novels I’m writing. I pray those who read them will catch this vision and see God’s faithful love in their own stories.

Who on your Christmas list enjoys historical fiction?

Friends, as you think about Christmas gifts, there may be someone on your list who loves reading history through the medium of story. Consider two books written about a time period not often addressed. Horse Thief 1898 begins in southern Ireland and ends in Kansas City.

Book 2, Treasure Hunt 1904, begins and ends in Kansas City, but most of the action takes place in intriguing Idaho, from April to August of 1904.

Goodreads Book Giveaway of the Kindle version begins today:

Treasure Hunt 1904

by Debra Kornfield

Giveaway ends December 19, 2022.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

If historical fiction isn’t your preferred genre, you can also consider two books I’ve contributed to this year:

Book X of the “Short and Sweet” series: entries are written with one-syllable words unless there’s no alternative! It’s sold at Target and various other venues as well as on Amazon.

Is life too fast and furious?

But God knows the way

Psalm 142:3, 143:8-10 When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn. … Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you … Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.

Do you ever feel like life comes at you too fast and furiously?

That’s how I feel now, and I hate that feeling. The last few Karis years burned me out on high stress. In the past I could convert pressure into productivity. Now I find it paralyzing.

What about you? How’s your relationship with stress?

I dislike pressure in part because I believe God wants us to live peacefully and joyfully, not uptight and frustrated. To feel the impact of this from Scripture, do this (which I just did): Go to BibleGateway.com, search “peace” and skip to the New Testament. Then scroll through soak yourself for a while in these 89 verses (or however many there are in the version you choose).

The corollary, I think, is this: if I am NOT living peacefully, I’m not paying enough attention to the Lord’s guidance about when to say yes and when to say no, and how to follow through on the “yeses” in a different way. I must take time each morning to connect with my Lord and in the context of his love for me, hear his marching orders for the day rather than responding too quickly to all the other voices I listen to. And I need to be more selective about the voices I prioritize, under the Lord’s loving guidance.

The area of my life that most easily pressures and paralyzes me seems to be the area I end up giving the least effective attention to even though it hangs over me all the time: marketing. This year it happened that I published too many books and parts of books to keep up with. Two of them were “supposed” to come out last year, but for various reasons didn’t. Each one of them requires marketing to become the blessing I believe God wants them to be, and to justify the resources poured into them by me and by others.

I woke up this morning finally able to accept what Dave has been telling me for a while: I need to hire someone to help me. I have leads; I just haven’t taken the time to follow up on them. So that will be my next task: reach out to some people who love doing what I do not and find out whether one of them can use their gifts to aid me. I’ll let you know how it goes!

Shutterstock: Andy Dean Photography

I am finally feeling hopeful about getting out of the whirlpool and back on solid ground. And making progress on Cally and Charlie Book 3 … haha.

What’s your next step toward living peacefully and joyfully?

The Un-tied States of America, by James Watkins, Gas City, Indiana

Jim writes:

I wrote this essay six years ago for an online magazine. It’s truer today than in 2016! What I’ve updated is in brackets [ ], but it remains virtually unchanged along with the political situation!

A study by Michigan State University notes: Far From United: Political Divide In America The Worst It’s Ever Been. Researcher and author, Zachary Neal, writes:

“What I’ve found is that polarization has been steadily getting worse since the early 1970s. Today, we’ve hit the ceiling on polarization. At these levels, it will be difficult to make any progress on social or economic policies.”

The [midterm elections] have revealed just how divided are the “United” States of America. Commentators, pundits and leaders are searching for reasons to explain the deep racial, gender, ideological and political divides.

I blame the Internet. Let me explain before I cause even more division. With the WWW, consumers no longer have to listen to differing viewpoints.

Take the news . . . please. Citizens can choose to get their news and views with a liberal slant on CNN and The Huffington Post or from a conservative perspective on FOX and The Drudge Report. During the Jurassic Age of Journalism, reporters were schooled to stifle their biases and objectively present both sides of an issue. In the modern age, there’s no need to listen to differing opinions and perspectives!

Then, there’s Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, [Parler, Truth Social] and other social networks. Users can choose “friends” who look, think and act like themselves. And if some “hater” offers an opposing view, they are simply “unfriended” and “blocked.” It’s the online equivalent of covering one’s ears and shouting “La la la la la la la!”

Even our institutions of higher learning, which once prided themselves in exploring all perspectives, set up “safe zones” where young adults could avoid hearing anything about the contentious electoral results that might upset their fragile psyches. Much better to color and make PlayDoh art than to talk out their feelings in the student union or dorms.

The Unique States of America

I propose that there are now thousands of unique, niche states of America. Citizens no longer have to listen to opposing views or interact with people of different persuasions. They simply choose their news and views to reinforce their own tastes, beliefs and prejudices with the click of the computer.

But there is [or should be] still one place in America where citizens can interact with people outside their cyber cell . . . the Church of Christ! The apostle Paul writes to a truly divided church:

“Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you” (2 Corinthians 13:11).

And Jesus’ last recorded prayer is for his future followers:

“I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.

“May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me” (John 17:21-22).

The United Saints of America

Church should be the ultimate “safe place,” where citizen who are different from others are accepted and listened to as equal members of The United “Saints” of America. (Remember that Paul called the motley crew in Corinth “saints.”)

A good friend of mine cannot be more different than me. He’s a five-point Calvinist. I’m a Wesleyan-Armenian. He’s a vegetarian. I’m a carnivore. He’s a social drinker. I’m a teetotaler. He’s a ballroom dancer. I’m a clutz. He votes Democratic. I tend to vote Republican. And yet our love for Christ and writing has made us such good friends that we spent three weeks 24/7 teaching writing and staying together in India—without killing each other. The only time there was even a hint of conflict was setting the thermostat. He has no body fat. I have plenty of insulation.

May unity among professing Christians be so obvious that the world will know that Christ is real and is expressed in the love between believers. The Church has, in the past, been the cultural common denominator in this diverse land . . . and it can be again . . . if you and I obey the words of Jesus:

“I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:34-35).

• Pray that Christians’ unity, despite the continuing political conflict, reveal a love that is greater than personal political beliefs.

• Pray that American citizens will be at least willing to listen to differing voices.

• And pray that Americans will give newly elected leaders a chance to bring people together to address the many challenges the country is facing.

Take a moment to be still. Breathe.

But God is the fountain of life

Psalm 36:7-9 How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings. You feed them from the abundance of your own house, letting them drink from your river of delights. For you are the fountain of life, the light by which we see.

Picture a shepherd boy in the hills at night, pouring out his heart in a song of wonder and praise as he gazes at the profile of the Judean mountains backlit by a zillion stars:

Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens.

Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.

Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,

Your justice like the ocean depths.

You care for people and animals alike, O Lord.

How precious is your unfailing love, O God!

All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings.

This is our incomparable Creator Lord, the One worthy of our wholehearted devotion. Be still for a few moments, just loving him, opening your heart to him, listening for his words of love to you, right now, today. Lift up to him the burdens, griefs, fears, and frustrations you carry. Receive in exchange the gift of his peace. Let it fill you, soothe you, hearten you. Carry his love with you into the challenges of your day.

A favorite worship song in Portuguese by Eli Soares says, “Apesar dessa glória que tens, tu te importas comigo também,” (Despite your incredible glory, Lord, you care about me too.)

Close your eyes and listen to Third Day sing this psalm. Don’t get distracted by the graphics. Just think about the greatness of our God and his particular love for you, now, today. And always, no matter what.

Even in grief

But God cares deeply

Psalm 116:15 The Lord cares deeply when his loved ones die.

This weekend was unusually busy and intense. In the middle of it I learned my friend Vanessa, whose generosity I wrote about on April 4, died a month ago from cancer. Here’s what I wrote:

I struggled one whole morning to understand a series of marketing procedures new and not intuitive to me. In frustration I cried to the Lord, out loud, “I need help! I need someone who can show me what I’m doing wrong!

Within seconds of my prayer, a message flashed onto my Instagram screen from a Brazilian friend I haven’t seen or talked to for at least twenty years, a psychologist who worked with me in restoration ministry. “Debra, do you need any help with online advertising for the Karis book? I’m trained in that.”

Yeah. I was stunned. But wait—there’s more!

When I told Vanessa her offer was a direct answer to prayer, she said, “Well, your need is a direct answer to my prayer. Last week I was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. I asked God to give me something to do for someone else, to divert my focus from myself and my fear and worry about this cancer. Then I saw your announcement about the Karis book being published here in Brazil and thought, that’s it! I want to do all I can to help you let people know the Karis book is available now in Portuguese. I’ve been reading other things I’ve found written about Karis, and her faith is helping to stabilize mine as I walk through this battle with cancer.”

Vanessa died on the operating table. I don’t yet know more details than that. I only found out because a friend of Vanessa’s noticed my repeated inquiries on Vanessa’s Instagram about how she was doing and took the time to tell me she had died.

Vanessa was so sure she would beat this cancer. Perhaps I won’t ever know why she couldn’t. I’ve learned, though, that in these times when I don’t understand, I need to cling even tighter to the Lord, who sees the big picture I can’t see.

Yesterday the Lord comforted me very personally. Not just through my tears and my husband sitting with me as I cried. And by giving me a vision of Karis hanging out with Vanessa in Heaven. The Lord also cared for me through a friend who unexpectedly offered to help me solve yet another computer issue I find perplexing. A touch of kindness in my landscape of grief that means so much to me because it touches another area in which I’m weak and vulnerable.

So I’m praying God will touch each of Vanessa’s loved ones—her husband, her parents, her extended family, her friends, even her beloved dogs—with whatever specific kindness will let them feel how deeply he cares about each one of them, even in their grief.

Perhaps he already has.

I wanted to die, by Walt and Sharon Hastings, Golden, CO

But God gives his people strength

Psalm 28:1, 8-9 I pray to you, O Lord, my rock. Do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you are silent, I might as well give up and die. … The Lord gives his people strength. … O Lord, lead your people like a shepherd, and carry them in your arms forever.

Note: Walt is one of my husband David’s mentors. Walt and Sharon are members of our international mission team. Both Walt and Sharon fought cancer in 2020 and 2021.

On July 21, 2022, Walt wrote the following:

Just wanted to give you a brief update. Sharon is gone on a five-day cruise with our daughter Bethany and her two girls. They get back Friday afternoon. She left early Sunday morning, about the time I came down with a high fever and infection in my right leg. Yesterday I went to urgent care and was told to be hospitalized immediately. I’m at Sky Ridge hospital being treated for a severe case of advanced sepsis infection. I’m responding well to the treatment, and likely will be here several more days.

Sharon: “Several more days” turned into a pitched battle to save Walt’s life. It’s hard to remember what life was like before these last ten weeks. There was a fight with cancer, but it seems like a long time ago.

Walt: I was in so much pain in the hospital that if I had been given a choice, I would have chosen to go be with Jesus. My muscles atrophied so much that I couldn’t support myself even to stand up. I lost about 25% of my lower leg. I couldn’t bear to look at my leg wound because I would go into shock. My left leg seemed to be half the size of my other leg.

In the ICU I came to realize that the veil between this life and the next is very thin. I had a dream or vision or something in which I was in a dark spot and to my right there were three creatures I would call demons. On the other side beings of light called to me. I told the Lord I wanted to go home to be with him. And the Lord said no. I asked the Lord what he wanted me to do. He responded, “Be with people.”

“*Beings of light called to me”* Shutterstock: Melitas

Sharon: We didn’t know if Walt would make it, but prayer on the night of the crisis call ended up trumping Walt’s wishes. We’ve stuck together through it all. We’ve grown close. I told God, “You don’t want Walt right now. He’s still not perfect. I need to work on certain areas in his life.”

Walt: When I went to the rehab hospital, I had serious doubts that I would ever walk again.

Sharon: We owe the physical therapist a case of beer. The doctors are impressed and surprised with how amazingly healthy Walt is.

Walt: One doctor said it’s amazing how God heals. Today, the two legs look almost the same size. There are at least three layers of skin. If the bacteria had gotten to the third layer which transports nutrients to the whole body, I would have been gone. The specialist who treated me said he loses about half of his patients who have this flesh-eating bacteria.

Sharon: I’m not teaching. I canceled all my classes to take care of Walt. I have no energy to think of anything else. I’m always thinking of how much protein Walt needs each day. Tomorrow’s skin graft surgery should be the last chapter of this. His knee froze with scar tissue. While he’s anesthetized for the skin graft, a surgeon will work on removing the scar tissue. Like Walt, I’m asking God what His purposes are.

My husband Dave on October 4: Today I had a terrific, life-giving mentoring session with Walt. I’m grateful he’s still here to “be with people,” including me.

God’s workmanship is marvelous

But God saw me before I was born

Psalm 139:13-17 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion … You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. … How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!

These verses have been repeating in my head ever since my first glimpse of my granddaughter Juliana as she was born Friday evening. Every tiny part of her, so perfect, so complete. A brand new unique little person. Marvelous indeed.

Ultrasound gives us a shadowy image of a child in the womb. But God sees these little ones perfectly. David tells us in this psalm that God is intimately involved with the creation of each little person. That’s why our daughter Karis was convinced that her intestinal disability was not a “mistake,” but rather something God intended to use for good. And she lived her life accordingly, always looking for what God was doing through every difficult or joyful circumstance. Still, I felt immense relief when I saw little Juliana’s first poop! Something Karis never had. I don’t know what Juliana’s challenges will be, but her intestines seem to work perfectly. Thank you, Lord.

Big sister Liliana, Aunt Valerie, cousin Caleb, and Mommy: part of the family already loving Juliana

Our extended family is growing fast! Between December 2019 and May 2020, five little girls were born, including our Talita and Liliana. The next batch included two boys, a little girl in the Cayman Islands, and now Juliana. Two babies are due in December.

God sees and intimately knows each one of them. And you and me too. No wonder the psalmist says God’s thoughts about us are precious.

What are you creating these days?

But God’s breath brings life

Psalm 104:24, 30 O Lord, what a variety of things you have made! In wisdom you have made them all. … When you give them your breath, life is created, and you renew the face of the earth.

Psalm 139:13-14 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous.

Ephesians 2:10 We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

*Collected on a walk through our neighborhood yesterday*

As around us leaves take on variegated hues, there’s a lot going on in our corner of the world. A new grandchild, soon to be born (perhaps today!) fills us with the awe of co-creation. A co-created book (Treasure Hunt 1904, Book 2 of the Cally and Charlie Series), coming out sooner than expected, bears the imprint of early readers, artists, and designers. Creation of materials and logistics for the first in-person Pastoring of Pastors leaders retreat since 2019, in Bogotá, Colombia October 21-25 engages a whole team of people at one level and all the participants, from twelve countries, at another. Another co-creation with each other and with God.

The last few days while Dave is in Colorado Springs for mission meetings, I re-watched a couple of the early episodes of The Chosen. Remember Jesus the craftsman, leaving carved animals for the girl Abigail when he decamped? And how he created in the minds of the children new vision and spiritual curiosity? I love the visuals of Jesus, co-creator of the universe, a master craftsman in his life as part of our world. I love the fact that God gives gifts through the Holy Spirit, empowering each of us to be creative in our own ways.

What are you creating these days? I would love to know!!

The power of story

But God is powerful and mighty

Psalm 78:2-4 I will teach you hidden lessons from our past—stories we have heard and known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders.

Jeremiah 32:17-19 NASBOh, Lord God! Behold, You Yourself have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm! Nothing is too difficult for You … great and mighty God. The Lord of armies is His name; great in counsel and mighty in deed, whose eyes are open to all the ways of the sons of mankind.

Zechariah 8:6 This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: … All this may seem impossible to you now, a small remnant of God’s people. But is it impossible for me? says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.

I love spending Tuesdays with my grandchildren Caleb (4) and Talita (2). Last Tuesday while I folded laundry, Talita napped, and Caleb played near me with his cars, he started singing a song I remember from my own childhood, “Nothing is too difficult for thee.” Google tells me it was written by Don Moen.

Caleb sang it several times. I asked him whether he learned the song at school, at church, or from his mom. “My mom,” he said.

It’s been running through my mind ever since, encouraging me regarding some tough situations. Nothing is too difficult for thee …

It’s caused me to reflect on the power of story. In this case, the story of God creating the universe illustrates his ability to do everything else. Nothing is impossible for him.

How interesting, that a story I learned to sing at my mission boarding school when I was small, and then sang to my children, my daughter Valerie sings to hers. And God used her child innocently singing it back to me to encourage me when I needed it.

Do you see why I want you to tell your story of what God has done for you? And generously share it with me and those who read this blog? You have no idea how much it may encourage someone else.

I hope this story is one Caleb never forgets and passes on in turn to his own children one day.