I wanted to die, by Walt and Sharon Hastings, Golden, CO

But God gives his people strength

Psalm 28:1, 8-9 I pray to you, O Lord, my rock. Do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you are silent, I might as well give up and die. … The Lord gives his people strength. … O Lord, lead your people like a shepherd, and carry them in your arms forever.

Note: Walt is one of my husband David’s mentors. Walt and Sharon are members of our international mission team. Both Walt and Sharon fought cancer in 2020 and 2021.

On July 21, 2022, Walt wrote the following:

Just wanted to give you a brief update. Sharon is gone on a five-day cruise with our daughter Bethany and her two girls. They get back Friday afternoon. She left early Sunday morning, about the time I came down with a high fever and infection in my right leg. Yesterday I went to urgent care and was told to be hospitalized immediately. I’m at Sky Ridge hospital being treated for a severe case of advanced sepsis infection. I’m responding well to the treatment, and likely will be here several more days.

Sharon: “Several more days” turned into a pitched battle to save Walt’s life. It’s hard to remember what life was like before these last ten weeks. There was a fight with cancer, but it seems like a long time ago.

Walt: I was in so much pain in the hospital that if I had been given a choice, I would have chosen to go be with Jesus. My muscles atrophied so much that I couldn’t support myself even to stand up. I lost about 25% of my lower leg. I couldn’t bear to look at my leg wound because I would go into shock. My left leg seemed to be half the size of my other leg.

In the ICU I came to realize that the veil between this life and the next is very thin. I had a dream or vision or something in which I was in a dark spot and to my right there were three creatures I would call demons. On the other side beings of light called to me. I told the Lord I wanted to go home to be with him. And the Lord said no. I asked the Lord what he wanted me to do. He responded, “Be with people.”

Sharon: We didn’t know if Walt would make it, but prayer on the night of the crisis call ended up trumping Walt’s wishes. We’ve stuck together through it all. We’ve grown close. I told God, “You don’t want Walt right now. He’s still not perfect. I need to work on certain areas in his life.”

Walt: When I went to the rehab hospital, I had serious doubts that I would ever walk again.

Sharon: We owe the physical therapist a case of beer. The doctors are impressed and surprised with how amazingly healthy Walt is.

Walt: One doctor said it’s amazing how God heals. Today, the two legs look almost the same size. There are at least three layers of skin. If the bacteria had gotten to the third layer which transports nutrients to the whole body, I would have been gone. The specialist who treated me said he loses about half of his patients who have this flesh-eating bacteria.

Sharon: I’m not teaching. I canceled all my classes to take care of Walt. I have no energy to think of anything else. I’m always thinking of how much protein Walt needs each day. Tomorrow’s skin graft surgery should be the last chapter of this. His knee froze with scar tissue. While he’s anesthetized for the skin graft, a surgeon will work on removing the scar tissue. Like Walt, I’m asking God what His purposes are.

My husband Dave on October 4: Today I had a terrific, life-giving mentoring session with Walt. I’m grateful he’s still here to “be with people,” including me.