Acts 2:25-26 I see that the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and my tongue shouts his praises! My body rests in hope.

This is Peter quoting David in Psalm 16. Peter, who betrayed Jesus, who just a few weeks before this event wept bitterly and wanted to give up. Peter, whom the Lord personally and gently set back on the path of service and care of others.

“I see that the Lord is always with me.” That’s the heart of our hope, isn’t it? David said it again in the “Shepherd psalm,” Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me (Psalm 23:4). And one psalm back, For the Lord has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy. He has not turned his back on them, but has listened to their cries for help (Psalm 22:24). And in the lament of Psalm 25, Feel my pain and see my trouble . . . for I put my hope in you (v. 18 and 21). And Psalm 33:18-22, We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield . . . Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone.

A friend asked, what happened next, after the waiting room story I posted yesterday? If you’ve read Karis, All I See Is Grace, you know that God worked in a stunning way through that surgery I didn’t want my little girl to have to endure if even the doctor didn’t know how it would help her. I’ll quote from p. 11, but it went deeper than this, to fulfillment of a vision given to a friend when Karis was an infant as well as freeing us to move to Brazil.

Watching Karis over the next few months was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. She bounced back from surgery so fast we were able to take her home from the hospital in time for Christmas. She started eating all kinds of real food, and growing so quickly I could hardly keep her in clothes that fit. Within four months she grew four inches and gained ten pounds! She was back on the growth chart.

Karis’s energy returned. Soon she was running around and playing with Danny and Rachel, conquering developmental milestones in which she had lagged. It was like watching a wilted little flower blossom in a spring rain. Almost every day, Karis ran to find me and exclaimed, “Mommy, nothing hurts!”

What I want to say through this is that when we’re in the middle of really tough times and are tempted to despair, the one thing we can absolutely count on is that our Shepherd is with us, feeling our pain, but from the perspective of one who already knows the end of the story.

So I decided to go ahead with posting the next vignette, which I called “The Shepherd.” I hope it will encourage you. It’s another surgery waiting room, when I didn’t yet know the end of that particular story. Yet God sent someone to encourage me. Karis was eleven; this waiting room was in Detroit.

Dave stayed with our other three children in São Paulo, Brazil while Karis and I traveled to Detroit for surgery. Visitors came from several nearby supporting churches, including Lolly the Clown, AKA Ruth, a second-grade teacher from the town of Oregon near Toledo, who later went to Brazil to teach in our children’s school.

Rita, a new believer in a Detroit church, decided to sit with me for a while in the surgical waiting room. From a rough background, she wanted to know the secret behind Karis’s friendly cheerfulness and apparent lack of anxiety about facing major surgery. “I would be freakin’ terrified.”

Like I am, I thought but didn’t say.

“What’s that verse she was telling me before they took her away?” Rita asked.

I had missed their conversation but knew Karis had been reading Isaiah. I hazarded a guess. “Was it Isaiah 26:3? You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you . . .”

“No. Something about a shepherd.”

“Oh. Maybe 40:11? He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.”

“That’s it! Karis told me three things about that verse. First, this surgery might allow her to eat, her Shepherd’s way of feeding her. Second, she’s safe in his arms. The third, she said, was the most important.”

“What was the third?”

“Her Shepherd gently cares for you, too.”

Romans 8:18-21, 23-25 What we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later… With eager hope the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay… We too wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us… If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.

The second candle on our Advent wreath represents hope. What are you looking forward to today?

In the Waiting Room: Zebras Karis age 3 ½, Detroit

The room was crowded; it would be a long wait. Karis greeted the other children and played with a few toys but soon, exhausted, she settled in the chair beside me. Her small body looked like one of those photos of starving children in Africa, enormous belly, spindly arms and legs.

“What are you reading, Mama? Can you read it to me?” It was Psalm 96.

Let the heavens be glad, and the earth rejoice!

Let the sea and everything in it shout his praise!

Let the fields and their crops burst out with joy!

Let the trees of the forest rustle with praise before the Lord,

For he—

“You forgot the zebras, Mama,” Karis interrupted, gazing at the border of wild animals brightening the walls. “The zebras are praising God too. See how they’re dancing? Read it again. I’m sure the zebras are in there.”

I read it again. No zebras.

“Mama, it’s OK. I know you’re tired. You’ll read it better another day.”

Dr. P’s nurse entertained Karis while he talked with me. “The only thing I can think of is another surgery, but frankly, I don’t know how it will help.”

I said no. My husband said, “We have to do something.” Our church agreed with him. Karis was hospitalized for several weeks in the hope of making her stronger so she could tolerate major surgery.When the OR attendant came to fetch her from the holding area, Karis pulled my head down and whispered, “Mama, don’t be afraid. The zebras are still dancing.”

Galatians 5:5 But we who live by the Spirit eagerly wait to receive by faith the righteousness God has promised to us.

I used this Scripture on April 11 of this year, commenting on one of our waiting room experiences, and find myself drawn to it again as we enter Advent, the season when we practice active waiting. Waiting to celebrate the mystery of Jesus’ Incarnation. And waiting for the glory of his return as King, to rule in justice and love.

This year there’s an added edge to our waiting as we grieve over the impact of raging coronavirus and political, social, and economic distress. In light of this, Elise Massa, leader of Arts and Worship in our church, invited artists to create meditation pieces with the them of “The Waiting Room.” You can see this beautiful collection of original visual art, poetry, and music here:

As a part of this project, Elise invited me to reflect on my waiting room experiences with Karis. The result is a set of vignettes, which I will publish here weekly in connection with themes associated with the candles in our Advent wreath. I hope they will encourage you to look for Jesus in your own circumstances, for Immanuel, God with us, never leaves us, no matter how lonely, frustrated, anxious, or sad we feel. As we wait for him, he waits with us. I pray you will be able to see him with you, as he showed himself to be with me in some of the toughest times of my life with Karis.

The first Advent theme is Faith. Karis age three weeks, Chicago

The phone jarred me awake. Dr. R spoke without preamble. “I don’t like the way Karis looks this morning. I don’t think she’ll make it unless I operate right away. I need your verbal consent, and hospital policy requires you be in the surgical waiting room.”

Frozen by fear, I stared at the phone until my almost-two-year-old son stirred and whimpered in the crib across the room. Hastily, I packed a bag with his clothes and breakfast and carried him in his pajamas down the block and across the street from the Ronald McDonald House to the children’s hospital. My husband was in Bolivia, friends and nearest family over an hour away.

The waiting room was empty, but soon other parents trickled in. Caring for Danny’s needs kept me focused until he fell asleep again in my lap. Then worry swamped me.

A man approached. “Debbie? My name is Harold. I’m a friend of your husband’s, here from Florida for a pastors’ conference.”

How did Harold find me? I have no idea. His concern triggered a flood of tears. I told him what the doctor had said. Then, hesitantly, I admitted, “I don’t know where God has gone. I can’t find him. I think I’m losing my faith.” He looked at me without censure, without judgment. Just these gentle words:

“Then, it’s time for the Body of Christ to have faith for you.”

Luke 6:46-48 Jesus said, “Why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say? I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built.

Psalm 18:31 Who is God except the Lord? Who but our God is a solid rock?

I love the way Luke tells this story. Digging through the emotional, experiential, societal and cultural muck and debris to find solid rock takes hard work; blood, sweat and tears. The blood of Jesus. Our own part of the sweat (remember Matthew 11:28-30). The tears he shares with us (Psalm 56:8, Acts 20:19, Luke 19:41-44, Romans 12:15).

I’ve written about three of eight bedrock beliefs, a solid foundation to stand on in this post-election. Yesterday I listened (twice!) to a powerful sermon that sums up my other five. I’m excited to share this with you. Whatever else you do this strange Covid Thanksgiving, take an hour to listen, take notes, sit before God with John Mark Comer’s challenge from Bridgetown Church in Portland.

From “Vision Series 2020.” Following the 2020 election, with its disputed result and our divided nation, we offer a pastoral word on how to follow Jesus through the coming season.

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bridgetown-audio-podcast/id84246334?i=1000497698479

I’m going to listen again while I make pies!

Psalm 33:17-18, 22 Don’t count on your warhorse to give you victory—for all its strength, it cannot save you. But the Lord watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love . . . Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone.

Agoraphobia. That’s what Adrian Monk’s brother Ambrose suffers from in Season 2, Episode 11 of the quirky old detective series that Dave and I watched last night. Agoraphobia is a fear of being in situations where escape might be difficult, or help might not be available if things go wrong.

It’s just one of many words that migrated to English from the Greek phobos, all of them with fearful (haha) connotations.

I fully expected, when I started researching the Greek words used for fear in the Bible, that fear of the Lord would be a different word. But it’s not. Karis used to say, “pain is pain.” Apparently, from the perspective of the biblical writers, “fear is fear.” It’s a recognition of something stronger than we are, that can impact our lives.

So what’s the difference between Ambrose being afraid to leave his house, and fearing God? The psalmist says it’s God’s unfailing love. It’s his character, his trustworthiness. Agoraphobia, like all other phobias, imprisons, limits, narrows, destroys. Fear of God leads to hope and freedom. Here are just a few of the many other fruits of reverential fear of the Lord in our lives:

Respect and honor

“Do not insult the deaf or cause the blind to stumble. You must fear your God; I am the Lord.” Lev. 19:14

“Stand up in the presence of the elderly and show respect for the aged. Fear your God. I am the Lord.” Lev. 19:32

“Show your fear of God by not taking advantage of each other. I am the Lord your God.” Lev. 25:17

Compassion

“Do not charge interest or make a profit at the expense of one who falls into poverty”. Lev. 25:36

Blessing

“You and your children and grandchildren must fear the Lord your God as long as you live. If you obey all his decrees and commands, you will enjoy a long life.” Deut 6:2, 24

Justice

“Fear the Lord and judge with integrity, for the Lord our God does not tolerate perverted justice, partiality, or the taking of bribes.” 2 Chronicles 19:7

Provision

“Fear the Lord, you his godly people, for those who fear him will have all they need.” Ps 34:9

“Who among you fears the Lord and obeys his servant? If you are walking in darkness, without a ray of light, trust in the Lord and rely on your God.” Isaiah 50:10

Release from other fears

“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zeph 3:17

“So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father . . . together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory.” Rom 8:15-17

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Tim 1:7

Integrity

Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit. And let us work toward complete holiness because we fear God. 2 Cor 7:1

Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. Phil 2:12

Thankfulness and worship

Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. Heb 12:28

“’Fear God,’ he shouted. ‘Give glory to him. For the time has come when he will sit as judge. Worship him who made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and all the springs of water.’” Rev 14:7

And from the throne came a voice that said, “Praise our God, all his servants, all who fear him, from the least to the greatest.” Rev 19:5

We’re barely scratching the surface of all the benefits Scripture shows us about fearing God!

This leads me to my bedrock belief #3: GOD is my Lord, my “audience of one.” Not politics, not patriotism, not what other people may think of me or whether I’ll be ostracized if I say things outside a certain political box. All of that is temporary, but God’s rule over my life is eternal.

And the benefits of fearing him, the Lord of lords and King of kings, Creator of the universe, Lover of his creation, both human and all else, faithful keeper of all his promises, are immeasurable.

Luke 1:6-8, 11-12, 18-20, 67, 74-75, 78-79 Zechariah and Elizabeth were righteous in God’s eyes . . . They had no children because Elizabeth was unable to conceive . . . One day Zechariah was serving God in the Temple . . . While he was in the sanctuary, an angel of the Lord appeared to him. Zechariah was shaken and overwhelmed with fear when he saw him. But the angel said, “Don’t be afraid, Zechariah! God has heard your prayer” . . . Zechariah said to the angel, “How can I be sure?” . . . Then the angel said, “I am Gabriel! I stand in the very presence of God. It was he who sent me to bring you this good news! But now, since you didn’t believe what I said, you will be silent and unable to speak until the child is born.” . . . Then John’s father, Zechariah, was filled with the Holy Spirit and gave this prophecy: . . . “We have been rescued from our enemies so we can serve God without fear, in holiness and righteousness for as long as we live. . . Because of God’s tender mercy, the Morning Light from Heaven is about to visit us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide us in the path of peace.”

Fear silences and debilitates. It distorts our vision, twists our thinking and distracts us from right action. It breeds rationalization, mistrust, suspicion, cynicism, anger, even violence.

And it’s ubiquitous. It’s perhaps the weapon our enemy wields most often and most effectively. Maybe that’s why we find the phrase “Don’t be afraid” at least 365 times in Scripture (depending on the wording chosen in a given translation). It’s an exhortation we need every single day.

I so relate to Zechariah. Don’t you? You can read the whole story in Luke 1. I would have been terrified too. I would have questioned God’s word, even with the evidence of a living angel standing before me to back it up. I know that because I have done so. I’ve chosen fear over faith and freedom. I love the fact that God’s work in Zechariah brought him full circle: We have been rescued from our enemies so we can serve God without fear, in holiness and righteousness.

My second bedrock belief for walking through the challenges we face is this: God wants us to live in faith and freedom, not in fear.

My spiritual director will be delighted and maybe a bit surprised I’m saying this. She’s been patiently teaching me this truth for several years, and celebrates every time she sees me choose faith and freedom over fear. So I’m saying it not as a mandate, as if I’ve got this, but as an invitation to join me and grow together.

The thing is, the enemy of our souls plays dirty. He knows our vulnerabilities and doesn’t hesitate to exploit them. He knows what makes me afraid, which may be different from what makes you afraid. He can even throw in the contempt option, dividing us with the idea that your fear is more despicable than mine. Or play the shame card, driving me to hide my fear even though it’s controlling my feelings, perspectives, and actions. The enemy wants to keep us imprisoned and impotent.

More about the freedom and faith side in the next post—but for now I leave you, and myself, this familiar word from Paul:

God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7).

1 Peter 1:12-17 Even the angels are eagerly watching . . . So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. . . And remember that the heavenly Father to whom you pray has no favorites.

Pearl

The pearl has become a metaphor for something rare, fine, admirable and valuable (Wikipedia).

Rare, fine, admirable and valuable. Like grace. And graciousness.

Here’s something I’ve been wondering: In this post-election transition, will we who follow Christ evidence grace? Will we attract people to God because our graciousness reflects his character?

I’m thinking, as I write this, of two people who model this for me, even though they think differently from me politically. I’ve learned to pay attention to their quiet service and the gracious words they say. Their winsomeness teaches and inspires me to find my center once again in God.

The Scriptures are full of God’s graciousness. And we are called to be like him, to show the world what he is like. Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your speech be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone (Colossians 4:6). A tall order? Absolutely. It’s a huge challenge. And a huge opportunity.

To help myself in taking advantage of the new opportunity we have post-election to honor God, I wrote down eight bedrock beliefs that can undergird graciousness, allowing me to speak gently from a position of confidence. The first is this: My trust is in God. Anyone, anything less will disappoint me.

Scripture tells me what to call my misplaced trust: idolatry. And it tells me what to do about idolatry in my life: repent, and turn back to God, who in his grace runs to meet me. And restore me.

The enemy of our souls, the accuser, wants to hijack us into behaving like him, rather than like God. He plays dirty. He does his work subtly, making use of even the noblest of causes (like concern to protect the unborn) to push us into speaking and acting in unholy ways that hurt others, divide us, and most importantly, hurt our chances of communicating God’s grace clearly to those already born.

All the while, God loves. He loves the people of this world. He calls us to love even (or especially) those we’ve been taught to consider “enemies” his Beloved. I MUST be careful about how I think and how I talk to and about these precious ones whom God loves. With Calvary love, as great a love as he has for me.

Even the angels are watching.

¡Ahora está en vivo! La edición en español del libro sobre nuestra hija Karis, disponible en rústica y e-book. Lo puedes encontrar en Amazon.com como Karis, Todo lo que veo es gracia. ¡Disfrútalo, escribe un comentario y cuéntaselo a tu familia y amigos! Y ore, que sea una bendición y un estímulo para todos los que lo lean.

Todos enfrentamos tiempos difíciles. Con sus propias palabras, Karis nos abre un camino hacia la gracia.

The Karis book in Spanish is live! Please share this news with everyone you know who speaks Spanish. It’s available on Amazon as paperback and e-book, Karis, todo lo que veo es gracia.

Please pray this book in Spanish will bless and encourage many people. We all face tough times. Through her own words, Karis opens for us a pathway to grace.

COMING SOON: The Karis book in Portuguese, by Betânia Publishers in Brazil.

Chegando logo: O livro Karis em português, pela Editora Betânia.

2 Chronicles 20:15, 20-21 This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s…Believe in the Lord your God, and you will be able to stand firm…After consulting the people, the king appointed singers to walk ahead of the army, singing to the Lord and praising him in the beauty of holiness. This is what they sang: “Give thanks to the Lord; his faithful love endures forever!”

1 Chronicles 16:29, Psalm 29:2, 96:9 Oh worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.

Hebrews 12:10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness.

Even the costliest gems are not beautiful when they are dug from the earth. It takes vision to discern their worth. They must be scrubbed, examined under bright light, cut, ground, and polished. They may bounce around for hours in a tumbler.

Is it worth all that, to make a stone shine? Thousands of years of history say yes.

Is it worth all that, to make the Body of Christ shine? His treasure, for whom he gave his very life? Thousands of years of history say yes.

She is soiled, broken, fragile when she was meant to be strong. She has squirmed away from his discipline and committed wrongs, from grievous to mundane. She seldom shines.

Yet God sees her beauty, her preciousness. He has staked his reputation on her victory over darkness. The Lord only disciplines those he loves.

This is God’s word to me today: Don’t be afraid. Don’t be discouraged. Praise the Lord in the beauty of his holiness, which he wants to share with us. Give him thanks, for his faithful love endures forever.

2 Corinthians 7:5-6 When we [Paul and his team] arrived in Macedonia, there was no rest for us. We faced conflict from every direction, with battles on the outside and fear on the inside. But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us by the arrival of Titus.

Amethyst

Up until the 18th century, amethyst was included in the cardinal, or most valuable, gemstones (along with diamond, sapphire, ruby, and emerald). However, since the discovery of extensive deposits in locations such as Brazil, it has lost most of its value. The highest-grade amethyst is exceptionally rare. (Wikipedia)

I grew up in a remote village in the highlands of Guatemala. American visitors were rare. When I was four, a family traveled the rough mountain road to visit us. The mother of this family—I’ll call her Mrs. B—fascinated me. She was gentle and soft-spoken, with a ready smile and laugh. Her eyes sparkled. She had kind words for everyone and seemed to radiate happiness. She gave me a glimpse of another world, another way of living, a possible different future. I found myself thinking, When I grow up, I want to be like her.

That’s still true. I’m intrigued and challenged when I encounter graciousness, the word I later assigned to my memory of Mrs. B. She encouraged me with new possibilities. With hope. Not because she related to me in any particular way during her brief time in our home, but simply by her manner of being.

When I read the history of the amethyst, I remembered Mrs. B. At four, she sparkled for me like a precious gem. As I grew up, I discovered Mrs. B’s qualities in many people: love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness . . . all the gifts of the Spirit. No less lovely for being more common than rare.

In my novel Horse Thief 1898, I modeled Cathleen, and at a younger stage in life, Aisling, after Mrs. B. Cathleen and Aisling (and doubtless Mrs. B) have faults, weaknesses, struggles. They are capable of hurting those they love. Yet they embody graciousness.

When I grow up, I want to be like them.