Grief

A personal note:

The last couple of months have been intense, and I’ve gotten behind on a long series of responsibilities and projects. Until I catch up–especially with a book I need to complete–I’ll be posting here only once a week, aiming for Wednesdays.

One part of the challenge was the decision our daughter Valerie and her husband Cesar made to move back to Brazil–with just six weeks before Val would have to start work there. They accomplished a major move, including participation in our Elliott family reunion and a trip to New York to secure documents they needed, in that short time. Truly amazing! We will miss them. And we rejoice with them, for all the goodness they will experience “back home.”

Here they are on the airplane; destination: a new chapter of life in São Paulo.

They did it!! Girls and guys: Back row Luciene (Cesar’s mom), Valerie, Talita. Front row Cesar Sr., Cesar Jr., Caleb. Lu and Cesar Sr., who came to visit before the Brazil decision was made, worked incredibly hard to make this move possible, including preparing the house for sale. Anyone looking for a cute house to purchase in Pittsburgh?

I asked you to pray for my sister. Thank you. She’s doing better, for which we are so grateful. And she has a long road ahead.

It’s helpful to me right now to know that the Holy Spirit understands grief. This blog considers a particular kind of grief, not the separation of loved ones moving to another continent, but the rupture caused by our sin, when we harm ourselves and others.

But the Holy Spirit grieves

Psalm 51:10-12 Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and make me willing to obey you.

Ephesians 4:30 Do not bring sorrow to [grieve, offend, vex, sadden] the Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified [put his seal on] you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.

1 Thessalonians 5:19 Do not stifle [quench, suppress, smother, hold back, try to stop] the Holy Spirit.

Grief. It touches each of us sooner or later, to a greater or lesser degree.

Grief even touches the Holy Spirit. Why? Because he expects us to obey a random set of arbitrary rules or face capricious anger and punishment from God?

No. God deeply loves each of us. What hurts him is our unnecessary suffering because we do what is not lifegiving and harm ourselves and others, whom he loves just as profoundly.

In Psalm 51 King David records his anguished cry of repentance after the prophet Nathan confronted him with seducing Bathsheba and murdering her husband. David rightly fears that God will take the Holy Spirit from him as he did with David’s predecessor, King Saul (1 Samuel 16:14). God’s Spirit is holy; he cannot associate himself with rebellion and evil. And in the Old Testament, pre-Pentecost, the Spirit was given to particular people in select circumstances. Not, as Paul stated to the Ephesians, to all believers as a guarantee of our salvation.

God’s Spirit is all about life, health, growth, creativity, blessing, fruitfulness, beauty. When we choose to harm ourselves or others, we limit his power and effectiveness in our lives. And we grieve him.

The way back to joy is exactly what David did: admit and confess our wrongdoing; no excuses. There still will be consequences. Saying “I’m sorry; I was wrong” does not bring a murdered person back to life or make adultery OK. David and Bathsheba’s firstborn died.

But the relationship with God can be repaired, and often (not always) ruptures with other people can heal.

Restoration begins with humility and honesty. Repentance opens the door once more to the Holy Spirit’s wonderful work in our lives.

The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God (Psalm 51:17).

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. … The Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings which cannot be expressed in words (Romans 8:26).