But God is our “audience of one”
Isaiah 51:7, 12 Listen to me, you who know right from wrong, you who cherish my law in your hearts. Do not be afraid of people’s scorn, nor fear their insults. … I, yes, I, am the one who comforts you. So why are you afraid of mere humans, who wither like the grass and disappear?
People-pleasing gets a bad rap. Here’s the first definition that popped up when I googled “people pleaser”: “Generally, it describes a person who consistently strives to please others, often sacrificing their own wants or needs in the process.” The Medical News Today article goes on to discuss signs, risks, and how to stop.
Shutterstock: Ariya J
So I wonder, how does this perspective—people-pleasing is a bad thing that we should stop—line up with Scriptures like John 10:11, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep”? And 1 John 3:16, “We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters”?
What do you think?
Debra Kornfield 
Hi Mom!
I think about people pleasing vs God pleasing. Where is my mind and heart oriented? If I am people pleasing, it sounds to me like that codependent idea, “I’m ok only if you’re ok”, using outside validation as a guide to life. To be constantly aware, attuned, wondering what people think to they point of erasing oneself. If I am God pleasing, I learn who I am in God’s eyes, I can keep a steady and true focus, grow into who I am made to be, learn to love rather than simply seaking to please. People pleasing is a moving target, and it is not where I want to hang my hat (though I often do). God is constant and true.
So we ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters – May this be out of love and service, not out of negating who we are.
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I love this, Val! Thank you!!!
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Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul and strength…
This first. Then learn to love people as God does…
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I like Val’s point and my thought is similar! If we are people-pleasing we want them to somehow notice and respond to meet our needs for care/validation/love, whereas if we’re sacrificing out of love, it doesn’t matter whether we get any appreciation–we can even handle rejection. And as Val suggests, God validates us. Maybe????
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Thank you, Elaine!
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