Don’t think like everyone else

But God is the one we should fear

Isaiah 8:11-13 The Lord has given me a strong warning not to think like everyone else does. He said, “Don’t call everything a conspiracy, like they do, and don’t live in dread of what frightens them. Make the Lord of Heaven’s Armies holy in your life. He is the one you should fear.”

Romans 12:16-21 Live in harmony with each other. And don’t think you know it all! … If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. … Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

I had a wonderful experience on our recent 1500-mile trip to visit friends and mission supporters west of us. We stopped to visit a friend we haven’t seen in many years. He brought up a political issue that is very important to him, asking what we thought about it. As carefully as I could, I expressed agreement while saying that for me there were other important issues to consider as well. He listened. He did not immediately dismiss or diss me. His expression of affection for me did not waver.

I felt honored by this friend. Rather than “cancelling” me because I didn’t agree with him 100% about one-issue voting–a heartbreak I’ve experienced before–he noted how much we have in common. He protected our relationship rather than negating all that we’ve witnessed together of the Lord’s work in our lives.

Shutterstock: fizkes

The times I have felt dishonor, once the sting wore off, I have wondered whether fear might be at the root of cancelling or ghosting a friend over something so relatively unimportant to me (maybe because I didn’t grow up in this country?) as political issues. Certainly, the media can foster fear in us, especially if we pay attention only to one perspective on a given issue or decide certain political figures are wearing the white hats and the rest are black, along with everyone who gives them a hearing. Fear can result in rejection of those we’re told are destroying what we value. It can leave us vulnerable to believing things that are simply not true. It can narrow our experience of life, to the point that we miss out on abundance and the freedom to live joyfully.

But the Lord calls us to think and act differently. When our trust is solidly rooted in him and his sovereignty over history, we don’t have to live in fear. We can dare to honor others, as our friend did on our delightful visit with him and his family.

Elaine Elliott, who has contributed to this blog in the past, recently sent me notes from an online sermon on honor she listened to. She’s referencing one of the values of the church she and her husband attend in Antigua, Guatemala:

Here’s the value: “We give honor—to those we lead, work beside and follow. The cross gives every human being immeasurable worth. We will treat people with the honor the cross displays.” 

Dishonor disrupts the supernatural. The Greek word for dishonor means “to treat as common.” Honor is mentioned 147 times in Scripture—usually in reference to people. The word means to value, to treat as precious, to give weight. 

Honor creates a space for the Holy Spirit to be released. Honor must be chosen; it is not a feeling but a choice. 

All honor starts with honoring God. God says, “Those who honor me, I will honor” (1 Samuel 2:30). God LOVES the world–and calls us to consider precious what he does, the sinners–including you and me–for whom Jesus died.

Some ways we can choose to honor others: not compare, make it a daily habit, practice gratitude. Daily think of something positive about your spouse and friends, for example, and share it with them. Each day think of something you can be grateful for about someone with whom you’re in a struggle and share it with them. Speak words of honor over your home, declaring your spiritual purpose. One purpose: “I love my husband. I will make him glad he married me.”

Romans 12:9-10 says, “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them … with genuine affection. Take delight in honoring each other” (NLT). “Outdo one another in showing honor” (RSV).

Respect is earned; honor is a gift. If someone is dishonoring you and you honor them, you have already won the competition by outdoing them! If your effort is sincere and heartfelt, it has value even if the other person is not able to receive it as intended. It’s a kind of defense against bitterness and anger when we are misunderstood and mistreated.

Thank you, Elaine! While recognizing the complexity culturally, relationally, and emotionally of what is perceived as honor or dishonor, I think these ideas–and the example of my friend–can help us think and act more like Jesus would in our challenging culture.