Psalm 105:8, 25-26 The Lord our God always stands by his covenant. . . Egyptians turned against the Israelites and plotted against the Lord’s servants. But God sent his servant Moses, along with Aaron, whom he had chosen.
A few days ago, God sent someone to talk with Dave and me. In many ways it was a difficult conversation; for me it ended in tears. I felt embarrassed by things I blurted out and could not take back. Some things, once said, can’t be un-said.
Through the next hours, including part of the night, I wrestled with myself and with God over what was behind my part of this conversation. As I tried to write out what I was thinking and feeling, many things became clearer to me. I was able to pray in a different way.
Sunday afternoon, Dave proposed an exercise that I was at first skeptical would really help. But God showed me something about myself through doing it that made all kinds of pieces fall into place in my life. I suddenly felt like I could take action that for many months I had felt blocked from taking. I woke up the next morning with a sense of hope and direction.
Along the way, I remembered God’s burning bush conversation with Moses. It’s recorded in Exodus 3, coming after a time when Moses totally blew it. Moses had a hard time believing that God could still use him. He even asked God to send someone else. God sent Aaron to come alongside him, giving him courage and confidence in God.
Who are the Moseses and Aarons in your life right now? God doesn’t mean for us to do life alone. Part of what complicated my problem, which I articulated—however awkwardly—in that difficult conversation—was trying for a whole year to resolve it by myself. I felt humiliated. I felt like I should be much more together and mature than this. The reality is that I am free again to grow, now that I’m facing with help an issue that has held me back for waaaay too long. Confession is awkward and painful. Humiliating. But it does seem to be good for my soul.
Debra Kornfield 