But God holds me fast, by Becky Kennedy

I’ve struggled with fear ever since getting mugged when I lived in Asia. When it first happened, I didn’t sleep for 6 weeks. Ever since then, it’s been easy for the devil to mess with me about anything he can even remotely tie to that mugging event (which, I might mention was unsuccessful–the mugger didn’t get my bag OR me, and I ran away to safety!).

Recently, I went to the beach by myself to get away with God, as I often do, three or four times a year. I stayed at the beach for three nights, and had a really wonderful time with God. The last night, though, someone came up to my hotel room and BANGED on my door, “BANG BANG BANG!!!” I immediately became afraid and went up to the keyhole to look out. No one was there.

“What the heck?” I said to myself. “Why would someone be banging on my door?” Then, feeling vulnerable because I was there in the hotel alone, I went outside to my balcony and looked around. I questioned, “Should I close my balcony door tonight?  Could someone climb in to my balcony from another balcony?” (I usually sleep with it open so I can hear the waves.) “Yes,” I told myself. So I started to move the balcony furniture around so someone couldn’t use it to step into the balcony.

Then I thought, “Wait. It’s pretty unlikely that that person will be able to actually scale the balconies, and s/he probably wasn’t actually targeting ME…they were probably drunk or high and are very likely now passed out in their room.” And I also knew that if I woke up the next morning with the balcony furniture re-arranged, it would keep me in fear and remind me of the previous night’s fear. I also told myself that I had to drive the next morning and it would be silly to keep myself awake all night in fear. I left my balcony door OPEN like I usually do, because I am protected by God, and IF He would allow something bad to happen to me, there will be a good reason, it will all be part of His plan. But I didn’t truly think something bad would happen. I knew that it was the devil messing with me!!!

I slept really soundly that night.  I am proud of myself for saying NO to the fear and for stepping into God and His peace…and I am encouraged, because if He can heal a fifteen-year-old fear, then He can heal other things too. Of course He can (and He DOES!)!!!  But sometimes, tangible encouragement from God helps to serve as a point of reference.

“Therefore we do not fear, though the mountains give way and the earth falls into the heart of the sea, even there Your right hand will hold me fast.”

“So do not fear–for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am Your God.  I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My victorious right hand.”

“He has not given us a spirit of fear, but a Spirit of Love, and of Power, and of Sound Mind.”

“We have the mind of Christ.”

10 thoughts on “But God holds me fast, by Becky Kennedy

  1. Thank you for your story and reminder, Becky! I was just reading a chapter in Mark Buchanan’s The Rest of God this morning, which, along with your post, are reminding me that, more than God changes our circumstances, He changes our minds in the midst of them. Thanks!

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  2. Thanks, Becky, for sharing so openly. You entered into a deep topic – what to do with our fears from the past are triggered by events now. I’m really proud of you being able to work that through in such a healing way. May the verses you shared at the end and your experience hold you steady the next time Satan or his forces come banging on your door! 🙂

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    1. Also, let it be known that at some point in the process I said something out loud like, “Be gone, in Jesus’s name!” to anything evil trying to get ahold of me or to occupy that hotel room. I didn’t include it in the first account above because it got dimmed in my memory (also a work of the evil one) and because I didn’t want people thinking I was some coo coo seeing demons at every turn. So I correct my story and my pride here. And hope that the full story blesses many. 💜

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  3. La verdad es que la palabra de Dios obro con tanto poder en su mente y emociones, que pudo dormir profundamente. Una victoria total del Señor sobre sus miedos.

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  4. Thanks, Becky, for your additional sharing. That truly does add an important dimension. I’ve experienced deliverance from demonic affliction on numerous occasions through a simple prayer. Satan can afflict us, especially if we’ve left some foothold or stronghold accessible to him. BUT GOD…!

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