I think I know better

But God patiently loves me

Isaiah 40:13 Who is able to advise the Spirit of the Lord? Who knows enough to give him advice or teach him?

Patience.

I’m impressed this morning that this beautiful virtue, one of the fruits the Spirit produces in us, is one of his defining characteristics.

How often I’ve thought, even if I haven’t said out loud to the Lord, “I know better. If I had your power, I wouldn’t allow what’s going on in the life of my beloved one.”

Once while attending a conference in the U.S. after we had lived in Brazil for many years, I greeted the woman ahead of me in line. She asked where I was from, and I told her São Paulo. She said, “Oh, your Spanish must be pretty good.” The rest of the time we were in line, she told me how my husband and I should minister in Brazil.

Had she ever been there? No. She ended as we reached the serving line, with a bright smile, “I’m so glad God put us together this morning, so I could be of help to you.”

As I ate my breakfast, after I finished internally rolling my eyes, I reflected on how God could use her “help” to me: to teach me patience. And humility. And to understand better the disconnect between my world and that of people whose reality I don’t experience.

Thinking a little more deeply, the Spirit nudged me. I’m like her. I think I know, when what I understand is but a tiny slice of what’s going on beyond myself. And some of that tiny slice isn’t even accurate. In Brazil, we speak Portuguese. In the Kingdom of God, the Spirit speaks Love, and my comprehension of that language is dismally inadequate.

Yet I try to tell God how Love should be spoken in the life of a person I care about.

Your will be done, Lord. Your Kingdom come on earth as in heaven.

In covenant love

But God’s Spirit warns us

Nehemiah 9:29-30 [A prayer rehearsing the history of Israel] You warned your people to return to your Law, but they became proud and obstinate and disobeyed your commands. They did not follow your regulations, by which people will find life if only they obey. They stubbornly turned their backs on you and refused to listen. In your love, you were patient with them for many years. You sent your Spirit, who warned them through the prophets. But still they wouldn’t listen! So once again you allowed the peoples of the land to conquer them.

1 Timothy 4:1 Warnings against False TeachersNow the Holy Spirit tells us clearly that in the last times some will turn away from the true faith; they will follow deceptive spirits and teachings that come from demons.

Hebrews 3:6-7, 12-13 We are God’s house, if we keep our courage and remain confident in our hope in Christ [some manuscripts add, “faithful to the end”]. That is why the Holy Spirit says, “Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled, when they tested me in the wilderness.” … Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. Make sure that your own hearts are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God.

I’m posting this in Maryland, at a wonderful place called Caboose Farm (Caboosefarm.net) where the extended Elliott family is having a once-every-three-years reunion. I probably won’t post this Thursday.

In the remarkable prayer of praise recorded in Nehemiah 9, the word “but” appears six times in reference to the people of Israel. God was faithful in myriad ways, but his covenant people turned away from him again and again and again.

The author of Hebrews draws a straight line from his time back to the people of Israel in the desert, 1500 years before. If he (or she) could see our hard hearts, two thousand years later, would he (or she) draw a line to us as well? Don’t we need the Spirit’s warning as much as the Hebrews did?

Reflecting on this, I recall that in the last few days I’ve heard or read the following:

“I don’t think God exists, because if he does, he would have healed my beloved sister. I can’t trust him anymore.”
“I was too badly hurt by the church to ever go back. I still believe in God in my heart, but I can’t stand the people who claim to know him yet behave in unkind and cruel ways in his name and say such demeaning things about people different from them.”
“I’m an ex. Ex-Catholic, ex-protestant, ex-atheist, ex-everything. Bottom line: I believe in myself.”
“God is too busy holding this fractured world together to care about me, and people have been cruel. My life has been one disappointment after another. So, I’m considering ending it.”

The good news from the prayer in Nehemiah 9? An entirely different “but.”

“But you are a God of forgiveness, gracious and merciful, slow to become angry, and rich in unfailing love. You did not abandon your people” (v. 17).

“And now, our God, the great and mighty and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of unfailing love, do not let all the hardships we have suffered seem insignificant to you” (v. 32).

Forgiveness. Grace. Mercy. Patience. Unfailing love. God, who keeps his promises, offers them all. Take what you need.

Practice patience

But God gives us power for patience

Galatians 5:22-23 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Colossians 1:11 We also pray that you will be strengthened with all God’s glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy.

“What? It won’t arrive for two weeks!?”

This was my reaction when I recently ordered a birthday gift for a person I love. I own my part in our impatient society.

But patience with delayed gratification isn’t what Paul is talking about in Galatians 5:22.

Since the gift arrived, two more weeks have passed without me actually placing the gift in my friend’s hands. Her birthday was in April! I finally gave it to her yesterday.

My forgetfulness required patience on the part of my friend—not patience regarding the gift itself—she didn’t care about that—but loving patience with me in my impatience with myself.

This relational patience as a dimension of love is what Galatians 5:22 is about.

This week I’ve been deliberately noticing my own impatience. Here’s one example: I noticed I was frustrated when I realized my book The Giggly Bug might not be out by the end of May. Yet I hadn’t fully considered the impact on my publisher of the unexpected death of the person who had been scheduled to put my book together, a beloved man who had worked there for thirty years, who held the company’s history in his mind and heart.

My impatience became relational.

And their response? Out of love for me, they doubled up on my book so it can be out by the end of May—in fact, they sent me the proofs yesterday afternoon. I deeply appreciate the patience of the folks at EA Books, since I’m on an unending learning curve. While professional, they prioritize their relationships.

Until I started deliberately noticing my impatience, I might have thought I’m a patient person. Now I realize how much I need God’s power (glorious power, Paul says!) to strengthen me in my practice of love manifested in patience.

Please, Holy Spirit, grow more agape patience in my soul.

I think this is interesting:

Two Greek words are most often translated as patience in the New Testament. Hupomone is endurance under trials and undeserved affliction. Makrothumia (usually translated in the KJV as “longsuffering”) is self-restraint in the face of provocation, especially by other people. Colossians 1:11, quoted above, uses both words, translated in the NLT as endurance (hupomone) and patience (makrothumia).

In Galatians 5:22, Paul uses makrothumia. Vine’s says this kind of patience “does not hastily retaliate or punish.” It’s the opposite of both anger and despondency. It’s imbued with both mercy and hope.

Makrothumia has to do with our relationships. Hupomone relates more to resilience.

So, this reference surprises me: “Be patient (makrothumia) as you wait for the Lord’s return” (James 5:7). I would have expected hupomone in this context. Could James be more concerned about how we treat one another than about our endurance through suffering while we wait for the Lord to make everything right?

“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient (makrothumia) with each other, making allowances for each other’s faults because of your love” (Ephesians 4:2).

Afraid to ask?

But Jesus will turn sadness into joy Lenten question #17 April 17

John 16:16-22 [Jesus said] “In a little while you won’t see me anymore. But a little while after that, you will see me again.” The disciples asked each other, “What does he mean? … We don’t understand.” Jesus realized they wanted to ask him about it, so he said, “Are you asking yourselves what I meant? … I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn over what is going to happen to me, but the world will rejoice. You will grieve, but your grief will suddenly turn to wonderful joy. … I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy.”

Our Lenten roses, in full bloom

This will be the last twenty questions post until after Easter, since Jesus asked the last three questions after his resurrection. As Jesus forewarned his disciples about the grief they would feel at his crucifixion, he also told them that horrific event would not be the end of the story.

Soon they would experience their world falling apart. Despite all of Jesus’ warnings along the way, the disciples reacted to Jesus’s arrest, judgment, and death as any of us do to threat and trauma: by “freeze” (their paralysis in the Garden of Gethsemane), by trying to fight (Peter), and by flight (most of them). In his fear, Peter denied knowing Jesus. All of them felt a combination of guilt and despair. Judas killed himself. Others went back to what was safe and familiar (fishing). Thomas lacked the courage to believe the good news when it came. Like Peter and John, he had to see it for himself.

The women, though—including Jesus’s mother—stuck by him. Along with John, they pushed through the mocking crowd close enough to the cross to converse with Jesus as he hung in agony. They witnessed his death.

Did the women remember and believe what he had said, that they would see him again, in great joy? We’re not told. But, like Mary of Bethany (Mark 14:8), they did what they could; they embraced the positive action that was available to them. Still wanting to serve and care for Jesus, they went to his tomb on Sunday, as soon as they could after observing the Sabbath.

Imagine the thrill of the angel, the stone rolled back, the empty tomb, their next task (“Go and tell his disciples”)—and then Jesus, alive! meeting Mary Magdalene in the garden.

Let’s allow ourselves to take part in the narrative, to feel what they felt on that Passover weekend, as the Lamb of God was sacrificed so that his shed blood would protect us from death. With the women and John, let’s find the courage to stand by Jesus at the cross.

And let’s remember it’s OK to ask our questions. Whatever hard place you are in right now, draw near and share your grief and doubts and fears and confusion with the Lord. He understands and welcomes us. We may not be capable of understanding, yet.

But today is not the end of the story.

But God’s Kingdom is not just talk; it’s power

1 Corinthians 4:12-13, 20 We bless those who curse us. We are patient with those who abuse us. We appeal gently when evil things are said about us … For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s own power.

Wow. This is where the rubber really hits the road, isn’t it? I find the only thing harder than responding as Paul models for us is doing so when the target is not me directly, but someone I love.

Recently, for example, critical things were said to my husband in a public space. The person had not come to him privately to express his concerns. Dave listened, took to heart what the person said, took the matter to the Lord, and is working diligently to make changes in his life. He let the offense roll right over him. The relationship, thank God, is intact. Which might not be the case if I had reacted the way I wanted.

Because I fumed. I thought of all kinds of things I wished I had said to defend Dave. I felt hurt and disappointed in this person whom I consider a close friend. It took me a couple of days before I too took the matter to the Lord, confessed my anger and reactivity and defensiveness, and allowed him to cleanse me and restore me to peace and the ability to pray for blessing in the person’s life.

What I am deeply grateful for in this case is that I did keep my mouth shut, rather than escalating the situation and adding insult to the injury. Thank you for that, Lord. Thank you for painful experiences that have shown me the wisdom of biting my tongue until emotions are not so high and until I am in tune with the Holy Spirit.

And yes, maybe an appropriate time will come for addressing the person’s action. If so, I hope it will be characterized by blessing, patience and gentleness—which would not have been the case initially.

God’s power for living is resurrection power. Life triumphing over death. Speaking what is life-giving rather than death-dealing. The Holy Spirit makes this possible when I let him have control; when I ask him to overrule my immaturity and impulses and defensiveness.

On the cross, having been whipped, scorned, humiliated, stripped, and condemned on false charges, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). That is power. Thousands of times more potent than had he called legions of angels to deliver him. Kingdom of God power. Counter-cultural power. Counter-carnal power.

Please, Lord. Easter in me.