Can you see angels?

But God’s world includes angels

Matthew 18:1-10 About that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?” Jesus called a little child to him and said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven … Beware that you don’t look down on any of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels are always in the presence of my heavenly Father.”

“An artist is one still able to see angels,” Madeleine L’Engle tells me in Walking on Water. “To be visited by an angel is to be visited by God. To be touched by an angel is to be touched by God.”

Immediately, of course, I think of Karis. Dave joked as she was growing up that she needed two guardian angels, not just one, to keep her safe through all her adventuring and exploits. But in reading her journals, I discovered she had three, and often saw them and took comfort and guidance from them.

Those of us around her, intent on keeping Karis safe and alive, tried to limit her, because she seemed to have missed out on common sense. Where is the line between fearlessness and stupidity?

We thought, silly us, looking at all we had invested in her life, that she “owed” us this: to walk within boundaries of safety, to not risk her costly life on (to us) frivolous pleasures. I placed value on what it took for me and others to support her in her extravagant ideas.

But for Karis, every day of life was Gift. So many times, doctors had said her broken body could no longer support life, yet she lived on. This made her careless, or overconfident, or too trusting, from the point of view of us who did not see her guardian angels or accept her absolute conviction that she would live “not one minute more or less than God has planned for me.”

“Where is the line between responsible faith and reckless presumption?” I would ask her.

“Ah, Mama, you worry too much. No one has ever solved the dilemma of free will vs. predestination. You need to embrace the both-and, not try to reduce it to either-or.” A deflection. I was not comforted. I did not worry less.

So if an artist is one still able to see angels, in what ways was Karis an artist? I remember her economics professor at Notre Dame telling me that after he graded Karis badly on an essay filled with her customary multi-hued imagery and made her rewrite it in proper academic diction, she thereafter submitted two essays for every assignment: one she wrote for herself, and one she wrote for him. “Economics is about Life,” she told him. “I can only understand it in that context. Then I translate it for you into the language that makes sense to you.” His view of his subject was transformed.

And that’s what she did for all of us who paid attention. She taught us to listen, to see, to go deeper. To embrace mystery, rather than try to tame it. To touch Joy. And Freedom.

Ah, Karis. I’m so glad James sees you dancing. With the angels. With Jesus.

Therefore we praise you, joining our voices with angels and archangels and with all the company of heaven, who for ever sing this hymn to proclaim the glory of your Name: Holy, holy, holy Lord, God of power and might, heaven and earth are full of your glory.

Build each other up, by Rachel Myers

But God’s love keeps us safe

Jude verse 20 But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit, and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God’s love.

[A note from Debbie: After Karis died, we started collecting reminiscences people wrote about her in a memory book. In God’s exquisite timing, Rachel Myers just sent me her contribution to this book and gave me permission to share it with you as well. Holidays are challenging times for me, as I imagine they are for anyone who has lost a close friend or family member. Rachel’s thoughts came at just the right time to touch that tender part of my heart—an example for me of what Jude says, that as we build each other up, our hearts are kept safe in God’s love. Thank you, Rachel.]

When Karis passed, Debbie invited me and others she called friends to come and pick a piece of her jewelry to remember her by. I chose the most colorful one – a necklace of all sorts of tiny stones, in every shade of the rainbow. I never saw Karis wear it to my memory, but it reminds me of her because it’s so unpretentious and cheerful. My two-year-old daughter, Paige, loves to try on my necklaces and this one is a favorite of hers, too. It brings me joy to share it with her, though she doesn’t yet fully know why.

I knew of Karis for a while before I had the joy of knowing her personally. I could tell by the way folks mentioned her name in conversation that she had endeared herself to many. By the time I became her friend, she had already been quite sick for a while. The season for ambitious adventures was over, but Karis’s enthusiasm and knack for building meaningful connections was probably stronger than ever.

What I remember most about our times together is her earnest kindness, gentleness, and positivity. The daily obstacles she faced just to remain alive would leave many of us in despair, but I never heard her complain, even when she was clearly in pain. She was more content to listen than to talk. She would always end our chats by asking how she could be praying for me.

Karis made the most of what she had each day: whatever strength, time, and opportunities there were to serve those around her. She was a living example of the character produced by suffering. I work in a hospital where I meet many people living with chronic illness. Those on this path can choose to either feel bitter about what they’ve lost, or to celebrate what they have. I honestly don’t know how I will handle it when I’m faced with the same decision, but I’m slowly practicing for the latter.

Karis’s example continues to encourage me to cherish the opportunities for human connection that each day brings because they are so much of what brings joy and meaning. I have learned to relish chances to go deeper in conversations with my patients and to be a blessing to them. Karis certainly knew there is so much joy in giving!

I also am working to enjoy the moments I might otherwise take for granted, like when my daughter is asking me to show her all my jewelry for the hundredth time. None of us know what the future holds for us or for our children, but I sure hope to hold what I’ve been given with my heart and hands wide open, as my friend Karis did.

But God is with us, even in lockdown

Acts 28:30-31 For the next two years, Paul lived in Rome at his own expense, [bound with a chain to a Roman guard, v. 16, 20]. He welcomed all who visited him, boldly proclaiming the Kingdom of God and teaching about the Lord Jesus Christ. And no one tried to stop him.

Acts 16:25 Around midnight [in prison in Philippi], Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening … See also Ephesians 4:1, Philippians 1:13-14, Colossians 1:9, 24, 4:10, 2 Timothy 1:8, Philemon 1:1.

John Bunyan was arrested in 1660 and spent twelve years in jail for preaching about Christ. While a prisoner, along with other works he wrote Pilgrim’s Progress, one of the most read and beloved works in the English language.

Bedford UK 7/04/2017 A bronze statue of English Christian writer John Bunyan stands on St Peter’s Green, Bedford, England. The statue was sculpted by Sir Joseph Edgar Boehm, it was erected in 1874.

Three centuries later, in 1963, Martin Luther King Jr. wrote Letters from a Birmingham Jail.

Over his 27 years of imprisonment 1962-1989, Nelson Mandela wrote his Conversations with Myself, collected and published in 2010.

Any of these three, and so many others, could have broken under the stress of what they and their families suffered. Instead, like Paul almost two thousand years before, they used their time as prisoners to write.

Karis penned hundreds of pages from her own “imprisonment” in hospitals. Even when she could be home, unable to get away from the prison of her ailing body, she wrote precious words of encouragement to others.

Did you know that thousands of people have used Covid lockdown to write to write? Publishers have been flooded by this work. Last year, 100,000 titles were added to Amazon every month! Many artists created master works or composed music.

Covid lockdown hasn’t been fun or easy. For many people, it’s been awful. But people around the world have grown closer to the Lord through their time of isolation. Like Paul, they have responded with prayer and worship. Through the Holy Spirit’s empowering, they have boldly (Acts 1:8) shared the Gospel. They have taken time to reflect on their lives and have seen God’s faithfulness and presence with them even in their loneliness.

On this blog, since we entered “Ordinary Time,” we’ve traveled with Peter, Paul and others through Luke’s account of the Holy Spirit at work during the often stressful and painful earliest days of the Christian church. Luke concludes his book with the brief description of Paul imprisoned in Rome cited above. Did his life end there? Many people think not; see, for example, https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/the-fourth-missionary-journey-what-happened-to-paul-after-acts.html.

There’s so much we don’t know, because it wasn’t written down or what was written wasn’t preserved. I take from this once again the encouragement to Remember and Tell what we notice God doing in our world, in our generation. I’m waiting for your story! How has God been at work in your life? I would love to know!

Let’s take for ourselves these words Paul wrote to Timothy from prison in Rome: God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. … Keep a clear mind in every situation. Don’t be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you (2 Timothy 1:7-8, 4:5).

But God protects

Acts 26:21-22, 30-32 [In his defense before Governor Festus, King Agrippa, and his wife Bernice, Paul said] “Some Jews arrested me in the Temple for preaching that all men must repent of their sins and turn to God, and they tried to kill me. But God has protected me right up to this present time so I can testify to everyone, from the least to the greatest …” Then the king, the governor, Bernice, and all the others agreed, “This man hasn’t done anything to deserve death or imprisonment.” And Agrippa said to Festus, “He could have been set free if he hadn’t appealed to Caesar.”

Sometimes, God uses what seems to us flat out wrong for our good and to accomplish his purposes.

Karis recognized this—eventually. For a long time, her goal was to live in sub-Saharan Africa to work as a journalist in defense of women’s rights. She designed her own major at Notre Dame to that end, including study of Arabic and French. She never made it to Africa. She was crushed when her doctors said, “Absolutely no way.” She described herself to me as a prisoner of her body and of those who cared for it. During her last years, she seldom made it out of Pittsburgh. We were thrilled when she could be home from the hospital from time to time.

But God brought Arabic and French speakers to Karis, not just from Africa but from Middle Eastern countries as well. Her chief surgeon was Egyptian and attracted to Pittsburgh intestinal transplant patients from across the Arabic-speaking world. They found here a small blonde woman in a hospital gown toting an IV pole just like theirs, who spoke their language and loved them.

*We were both pretty tired when this photo was snapped!*

Paul spent two years (!) as a prisoner in Caesarea, first under Governor Feliz and then under Governor Festus. During that time, he was brought out to testify multiple times, although all the Roman authorities agreed he had done nothing deserving death or imprisonment. Ironically, God used his captivity to protect him. Had he been set free, his enemies would have killed him. Instead, (spoiler alert) he will travel to Rome (Acts 23:11) under the safety provided by Roman law to its arrested but not-yet-tried citizens.

A Brazilian idiom says, “I was happy and didn’t know it.” Are you dealing with constraining, unjust circumstances? Sometimes what we most struggle against, God uses to protect us from greater harm. One day, we’ll understand it all, from the perspective of the One who loves us more than we can comprehend.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6

But God compels

1 Corinthians 9:16-17, 26 Yet preaching the Good News is not something I can boast about. I am compelled to do it. How terrible for me if I didn’t preach the Good News! I have no choice, for God has given me this sacred trust…I run with purpose in every step.

Paul was compelled to preach. I feel compelled to write. What sacred trust has God given you?

“This one’s a fighter.” The veteran nurse smiled back as Karis gurgled and grinned, enjoying her bath. “That’s why she’s still alive, not all this paraphernalia. I’ve not known another baby so passionate to live. Don’t lose sight of HER in the middle of all this medical stuff.”

The nurse showed me how to navigate with soap and water between and around the ileostomy on her Karis’s tiny tummy, the Broviac catheter coiled on her chest, the naso-gastric tube emerging from her nose and taped to her cheek.

Hiding most of this under a frilly dress, and taping a matching bow to her bald head, the nurse said, “Go home to your little son. He needs you too.” She settled Karis into a stroller, grasping her IV pole with one practiced hand. “I’ll take Karis around with me to cheer up the other patients.”

*At PACA, her school in Brazil, her shirt covering the central line through which she was fed every night.*

LIFE in capital letters compelled Karis. On her birthday yesterday, I reflected on how apparent this was even at a few weeks old. And how her bright smile continued cheering others for the next thirty years, years the doctors told us she would never live. “Unplug everything and let her die now,” they told us. “That’s the merciful thing to do for her.”

No. God knew we needed her smile, even through the tough times and the pain. Her zest for life invigorated us. Again and again after that first time, God’s restoring touch reached down to meet her heart’s thirst for more, more of this life, more time with her Beloved, as she called those she loved (virtually everyone who crossed her path). Until finally, she said, “Father, take me Home.”

And now she is truly living LIFE. I imagine her joy and enthusiasm infecting everyone in Heaven as she welcomes more of the Beloved into her Father’s home through these Covid months. Crooning cradle songs in Portuguese over more than two thousand babies dead from Covid in Brazil, but growing up now well and strong. I see her delighting in Jane Pool’s stories and finding just the right shade to paint our dear Alicia Helmick’s nails, wearing one of a collection of brightly-colored shirts saying “Been there. Got the T-shirt.”

Comforting the hundreds of pastors from across Latin America taken as they steadfastly cared for their people: the Good Shepherd will raise up others to love their congregations and their families. Listening intently as those who found life too hard on Earth pour out their stories and find healing in the presence of the Lord . . .

She’s busy. She’s well and strong. Happy. Thrilled with LIFE.

And I miss her.