Pity party or thankfulness?

But God doesn’t want us to live in fear August 1, 2024

2 Corinthians 13:11 Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Wow. August already. Does it seem to you too that time is just flying by?

I love the way Paul concludes his second letter to the Corinthians, “Live in harmony and peace.” Yes! He’s speaking my language! I love harmony and peace (no surprise that I identify as an Enneagram 9).

I’m in Idaho visiting my sister and remembering how she and her husband drove me all over southern Idaho to research Treasure Hunt 1904. This is the view from my window in their home.

Is it possible, though, to obey Paul’s instruction, when there is so much chaos and conflict in the world? When fear might seem a more “rational” response, how can we so center ourselves in the God of love and peace that we live in harmony with God, with ourselves, and with others?

Yesterday while chatting with friends, I recalled Karis’s radical trust in God’s sovereignty, even when she faced incredibly difficult circumstances. On her way to the hospital, if she was well enough to speak, she would say, “I wonder who God has for me in the hospital this time?”

As soon as she was strong enough to get out of bed, she would be out on the unit visiting other patients, encouraging and praying with them. Their nationality, gender, politics, etc. were simply points of interest in loving them better. What she saw was a person going through a hard time, in need of understanding and comfort. A person whom God, who was always with her, could love through her.

It’s not that God was with Karis more than with anyone else—he promises to be with all of us, always. I think her trust and her need for him simply made her more aware of his presence with her.

Karis’s radical belief in God’s sovereignty included a conviction that nothing happened to her by accident. In every situation, she believed, God had a purpose. Her job was to discern that purpose and cooperate with it. This kept her focus on others’ needs rather than on her own suffering and losses. She allowed herself occasionally to indulge in a “pity party,” as she called it. But soon she would laugh, shake it off, say “OK, enough of that,” and start listing the things and people she had to be grateful for. This practice (perhaps it fits under Paul’s word to Timothy, “self-discipline”) made it possible for her to say, “All I see is grace.”

Karis could have let herself be paralyzed by fear. Instead, she used the challenges she faced to help her empathize with others. She didn’t get there automatically. She made choices every single day. And she allowed other people to help her with this intention. She knew her challenges were too big for her alone. She knew the value of transparency and community.

When I grow up, I want to be like Karis.

It occurs to me to mention, in this context of love and harmony, an organization committed to bridging the gap in America between the right and the left, called Braver Angels. At every level of their leadership, they maintain equal numbers of “reds” and “blues” who have learned to respect, listen to, and build friendships with each other. Here’s a quote from their website:

“As we separate into groups that increasingly do not even know, or interact with, people of differing opinions, we lose trust in our institutions, eroding the ability to govern ourselves and lowering the caliber of citizenship. This growing trend coarsens public debate, produces policy gridlock, shrinks our capacity for goodwill, and harms our family and personal relationships. Effective self-government depends precisely on what this type of polarization destroys. We believe the American Experiment can survive and thrive for every American who contributes to the effort. Where we go from here is up to us. This is the driving force that fuels our mission.”

Check it out!

I’m reading Tasha Cobbs Leonard’s story, Do It Anyway. So here’s one of her songs to encourage us today, “Gracefully Broken.”

Accurate disagreement, with Julian Adorney, Braver Angels volunteer

But God gives fresh joy to the humble

Isaiah 29:13, 19-21, 24 The Lord says, “These people say they are mine. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. … [But] the humble will be filled with fresh joy from the Lord. The poor will rejoice in the Holy One of Israel. The scoffer will be gone, the arrogant will disappear … Those who convict the innocent by their false testimony will disappear. A similar fate awaits those who use trickery to pervert justice and who tell lies to destroy the innocent. … Then the wayward will gain understanding, and complainers will accept instruction.

1 Peter 3:14-16 Even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats. Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it. But do this in a gentle and respectful way. Keep your conscience clear.

I’ve mentioned before an organization called Braver Angels whose purpose is to build bridges across the divides that polarize America. BA is committed to equal numbers of Republicans and Democrats throughout the organization, so everyone has a voice. I want to share with you part of a letter I received from a BA volunteer that seems directly connected to what Isaiah says in chapter 29 as well as Peter centuries later.

Here’s Julian:

At Braver Angels, we talk a lot about civility. But what does civility mean?

Civility isn’t just a desire to find common ground, or to bury our differences and sing “kumbaya” with people who disagree with us. It’s not a desire for ideological unity, a jettisoning of our core convictions, or a refusal to engage in healthy conflict.

Here’s what civility means to me.

1) If I want to criticize Critical Race Theory (for instance), then I need to read books and listen to TED talks by the most prominent supporters of CRT. I want to grapple with the best reasons that someone might support CRT, not the worst; and also get an accurate picture of what proponents like Robin DiAngelo and Kimberlé Crenshaw truly believe.

2) I won’t spend a lot of time reading or citing other critics of CRT. I want to avoid a game of telephone i.e. “I think that CRT is bad, and I’ll define CRT according to how this other critic defines it.”

Rules 1 and 2 are part of what Braver Angels calls “accurate disagreement.” In a republic, we the people should disagree vociferously. But we should also disagree accurately. We should try to learn what the other side thinks, and we should get this education from the horse’s mouth. Abiding by these two rules can help us to have more productive conversations on contentious topics, because it reduces the extent to which we all talk past each other.

3) Be hard on ideas and soft on people. Though I disagree with them, when I read their books, I get the sense that CRT proponents like Richard Delgado and Jean Stefancic are good, decent and smart human beings who just want to make their communities and their country a better place.

4) Whenever possible, I’ll mention the good ideas that an ideology brings to the table. Few ideologies are monolithically bad (though some are) and I want to acknowledge these shades of gray and also give credit where it’s due.

Of course, all of this sounds like a lot of work. What’s the point?

The first benefit of civility is that it reduces affective polarization. A world in which we hate every member of the other team is bad, both for our country and for ourselves as human beings. Accurate disagreement and seeing the good in our opponents’ views can help us forge a healthier union.

But there’s another benefit that’s not talked about enough: civility makes it possible to have bigger and better conversations. When we’re civil, our discussions get more rigorous and more intense, because we’re discussing bigger things—the future of civilization and what it means to forge a more perfect union—rather than mudslinging at our political opponents. When we spend less time and energy throwing insults and attacking the other side, we free up those resources to have the conversations that really matter.

For me, this second benefit of civility is summed up in one of my favorite lines from the old TV show The West Wing, by Leo McGary: “We’re gonna raise the level of public debate in this country. And let that be our legacy.“

So let’s all disagree a little more rigorously. And a little more civilly. But I repeat myself.

— Julian Adorney, Braver Angels volunteer

(Debbie again) Christians at least theoretically believe that God loves the world (John 3:16) and that he shows no favoritism (Romans 2:11, 1 Timothy 5:21, James 3:17-18) and that we are to love and pray for our “enemies” (Matthew 5:43-48). We’re to demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit in every part of our lives (Galatians 5:22-23). This is the heart close to the Lord (Isaiah 29:13); what James calls God’s kind of wisdom (James 3:17-18).

Food for thought as we head into this week.

But the Holy Spirit mediates harmony

Romans 14:10-20 Why do you condemn another believer? . . . Each of us will give a personal account to God. So let’s stop condemning each other . . . For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. . . Let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up. Don’t tear apart the work of God.

Romans 12:18 Do all you can to live in peace with everyone.

These words of Paul’s to the Romans almost two thousand years ago, could well have been crafted for us today. I’m asking myself, Am I doing all I can to live in peace? What further actions can I take?

Yesterday I listened to a Braver Angels podcast with Kirsten Powers. She offered many practical tips for grounding ourselves, setting healthy boundaries, and living in grace rather than contempt, anxiety, or anger. She also discusses what grace is not. It’s worth a listen!

Grace Under (Political) Pressure? | Kirsten Powers with Mónica Guzmán

Thinking of you who read this blog with thankfulness and love.